Rules of Attraction

One of my favorite channels to watch at this moment has been IFC or Encore. As numerous times as they show the same movie i continue to watch it. One of the movies that they showed tonight was "The Rules of Attraction." Quite often i hear people say it's to weird or out of the box to be good movie, still i like it never the less. I even went to as far as to read the book. It plays off how cruel perception can be in love and relationships. Your mind plays tricks on you sometimes that you can't believe. If you haven't seen it it's worth a browse.

I guess my main message since i don't have any artwork to post is about love (still N O camera). I want to write a love poem for someone but i'm unable to do so. Writers block is a horrible curse for someone who's creative, but that's what i'm struck with at the moment. I know what directions i want them to head in but i'm able to write. I watched "The Baxter" this past weekend. It was clearly a under the radar type of indie film but the message was in love sometimes people are "Baxters.' Baxter could be defined as a person in a relationship that is a safe choice for their lover but ultimately gets left for what could be deemed as true love. It's safe to say i've been a Baxter quite often, but it's okay if i don't play the game i can't get hurt.

This theory also ties into Kanye's newest album 808s and Heartbreaks, which it a strange but good fruit to eat. When it raining and i find myself listening to the rain drops as they fall doom and gloom sits in. That album was unsettling as going outside into the cold weather in the morning. I was forced to handle and deal with ideas that have been tossed around in my head for some time. I can't hide behind drawings, tv, sleep, or even movies and for that reason i like the album.

Bruises - Chairlift

This so happens to be my Thanksgiving Day blog. Which means that it officially starts the holiday season. I have become to desensitized by the holidays due to working retail. I remember Christmas use to be a happy occasion where it would be a huge celebration but it isn't what it was. Tomorrow most likely i'll head into work and get yelled at over things i have very little or no control over with the idea that people are angry because they are out shopping searching for deals. I can sense it already. After dealing with that all day, do i really want to go out shopping for the perfect gift for someone?

What i find interesting is to listen to people talk. If you ever want to know what's on someones mind or where there mental state is at simply by allowing them to talk. I listened to someone vent about there life and it became clear what their goals were and where their past history was as well. I gained all this knowledge just by listening. So many people wonder why i'm so quiet or why i don't say much most of the time. It's because i'm observing my surrounds and it shows me how deeply i'm able to engage people in conversation. So in a nutshell if you someone and you think this might be an interesting person to know, Chuck D put it best when it said "DOn't Believe the Hype!"

My failed attempt as lead me not to buy a camera just yet. I need one because i need to post so new work. The one above is from NDG and it was one of my lazier attempts at perfection.

"Everything is in it's right place" - Radiohead

I really like that song. I'm not sure why, but it's stuck in my head at the moment. Honestly i'm not even a Radiohead fan either. I hate when i wake up in the morning and realize that i don't have to get up early and i actually should be laying in the bed aways. I don't have to be to work until 9pm and still i'm up before 8am. Frustrating is the only word to come up how i feel.

I proud of myself because today i actually finished a drawing of my friend Brittney that i had started some time ago. With my work schedule being a little odd and other friendly get together that i've been involved with it's a little hard to find time to draw let alone create.

When i was looking for a cassette tape that i had i found a mix tape i created from a friend i use to know. The bad things being that i never gave it to her. A mix tape is one of the most emotional things that you can give to someone. It's like sharing a secret part of yourself with the statement that is the music that i like and i hope you like as well. More than anything else it's take time to create a such a tape or cd. Obviously, you can go blind and songs but then what's the fun in that?

I proud that i finally found time even if it was past 3am this past weekend to start writing poetry again. I started writing a week ago but i really haven't had a chance to finish anything. There's something very spiritual and emotional when you share your worlds and thoughts with everyone. One of my best fears not only as an artist but as a person would be that my voice won't be heard. That's why i haven't entered any shows in a while!

Don't Play With Me Cause You Play With Fire....

is one of my favorite songs at the moment. I know it's an oldie but it's The Rolling Stones. More importantly it's the true meaning of how i feel at the moment. I know i should be tired because i just drove to Richmond for my friend's Trey's b-day outing only to drive back the same night. Caffeine pills do wondering for the body in moments like this, especially when you know you have to be at work at less than 4 hours. I won't lie to you this blog is going to be all over the place but hopefully in the end as calmly as it started.

I lost my camera over a week ago so i won't be posting any of my sketches or drawing for some time. I'm a little unhappy about it but this is something that simply had to happen in my eyes, even thought at the moment i don't understand why.

I know to often i rant and rave about relationships and dating,but one of my favorite quotes from a song sums up everything: "Women will never be as important as music (art), and if she thinks she is. then she's only fooling herself" My true love will always be my artwork, and i am single because i'm a lazy dater and no one has yet to make me feel better than anything i have or will create. Until then that's the way i'll remain.

I heard from a friend from my past a little over to weeks ago. I think of her sometimes but the truth is thoughts are mere thoughts nothing more. I strongly leaning towards creating some paintings with her in mind. How positive will they be? I can't honestly say at the moment. I'm not even sure if it will be viewed or expressed as paying respect. Speaking of artwork, i had an idea for a show that i got from a friend. The idea is to build upon what my first show "Illusions of Love" was dealing with. Something a little more darker than i'm use to dealing with. I figure i have to fight through the darkness to get to the light.

I have yet to really talk with anyone in detail about my thoughts on this past election. Well i can say that i'm happy to see that America actually does want to see some change take place. Regardless of whom anyone voted for at least this time around everyone went to the polls and voted. This past election was larger than i can imagine at this moment. Honestly speaking of course i probably would've voted for McCain if he was able to separated himself from Bush's style of running the country, but he couldn't. Almost every interview or speech he have was sending mixed signals. What i am disgusted by is the fact is due to the level of people's stupidity. One thing that completely frustrates me to no end is talking or hearing someone close minded talk. I haven't a lot of comments even read some as well. Zombie like state of mind following what someone else said without the belief that you have a brain and can think for yourself people need to wake up. I read someone i knew post a message saying "Now America have a face to put on a food stamp (speaking of Obama)" while another former college football player stated "Let's call a hunting party and go to the White House!" Above all i'm disappointed because i know i work with and wait on customers would darker feelings on the election.

<my drawing but not my pic.. all credit to to Bernard from Norfolk Drawing Group>

Rachel Weisz

This will be the blog sums up everything of great importance at the moment so if you get lost along the way it's probably your own fault. My vacation for work is almost half way over and i feel very unproductive. I've done a couple of sketches but the small odds and ends that are out of place in my apartment need to be taken care of and not neglected. I believe the will before to late. My thermostat is giving me troubles. I do know how to read and follow directions but i swear it's against me and blowing cold air no matter what setting i have it on. I'm 100% packed for my trip to Richmond to hang out with my extend family/friend base. My friend Trey is having his Halloween party with a Gangster and cops theme. I spent $60 at Party City believe me that was no party but hey it's be worth it. One of my friends from the drawing group DeVaugh was nice enough to let me borrow Amelie and Garden State. I really liked both movies and if you haven't seen it please watch them. Amelie is one i know i must add to my "please buy me list." I added 28 Days Later, 28 Weeks Later, Confidence, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, and Killer Klowns from Outer Space to my collection. yeah i know that's an odd combination of movies but AMC's Terror Fest has left a sour taste in my mouth. I could be wrong but a year ago they had continuous horror movies both new and old running all day long. Now it feels a little lack lustered watching the same movies day after day. I find myself watching Sci Fi more than AMC and to think i like AMC better. Panic Room IS NOT A TERROR/HORROR movie. I don't want to ever see it filed underneath that genre again.

This brings me to Rachel Weisz and why i drew her ( a badly drawn sketch). On the same day i brought Confidence, Constantine on tv (both movies that she acted in). Rachel reminds me of someone from my past that recently has tried to get in contact with me again. I have some many memories around me that i have to try to make new ones. Perhaps 10 years from now......

which also in closing brings me to Broken Flowers another movie i watched during pre-cable experience. the lesson i learned is sometimes you can pick up from where you left off at and others you have to simply chalk it up as a lesson in life.

Norfolk Drawing Group XXX : Rock n' rolla

I wouldn't be lying if i said i honestly thought about walking out of the drawing group last night. It's not because i harbored any bitterness to anyone there, but because the model inability to stand still caused some problems. Granted it was her first time modeling for an extended amount of time but something seems a little off about her. Possibly she was bubbly or maybe it was the Pepsi that she was sipping. It allowed me to trust my medium and not rely so much on the model staying in the same spot. One of the fellow artist Mike pointed that out to me that you have to "draw faster" or simply go with the flow. When i say trust your medium, i simply mean that with my style instruments like color pencils, or pastels allow me to be loose and capture the gesture.

Even with a so-so model good times were to be had by all. I did learn that alligators have sexual reproductive organs similar to humans at happy hour. Plus songs were sang for both Allison and DeVaughn. Now that's love..lol

Oh Kate Lea!

So this is what i'm working on at the moment. It's a picture that forces me to focus completely on attempting to make it look like the original picture. Honestly i've fiddled around with this color pencil drawing for well over a month. With millions of ideas swimming back and forth throughout my mind i know i can't move forward until i complete this one first. Just for FYI reasons, her name is Kate lea and she's a professional wrestler.

Norfolk Drawing Group XXIX

Emily modeled for us this pat Tues night. I must admit that Emily is not only a very cool person but a great model as well. I think i enjoy her bubbly approach to life,because not everyone can feel that way. These are some of the sketches that i did through the night. As the evening grew on my draws became better. If you didn't make it out that evening i can only hope to explain what i mean when i say it was a truly fun evening.

Penelope Cruz (sketch)

I mentioned some time ago that i was watching the movie Vanilla Sky and without mumbling i can say I'm attracted to women with exotic beauty. I can't pin point exactly what it is, possibly the accent or the facial structure but when you draw as often as i do you learn to appreciate things that are different. Cherish them in some sense. I jokingly revealed to some of my co-workers that exotic women are turn on. There response was go looking on-line for one, but my beliefs lay in the realization that the best things are let up to chance and being patient. I guess until then I'll be dreaming until my Penelope Cruz tells me to "Open Your Eyes!"

Diana Meyers (pic & sketch)

So yet again it's time for Saw because Halloween is right around the corner. i bring up Diana and the Saw series for a reason. She was the one of the detective in the movies until she was killed off. I'm was first drawn to her when she appeared in the movie Starship Trooopers. Which was extremely an over the top sci fi movie that i saw over 10 years ago with my friends Art and Kimani.

"Cara & Erica"

The story behind this sketch that Cara gave me a couple of photos taken in a picture booth as part of her going away gift to me. Cara since then has moved from Va to Texas. One of the things that Cara is most proud of in life is her children. Erica being her youngest and the only girl which makes her that much more special in the family. This sketch i believe shows the importance of children within our lives. It reminds us of what it means to be young. So often as adults we can't remember being young and living life without boundaries. No one should ever feel tied down because we aren't. Who knows maybe one day soon I'm put this sketch to some good use and it's become a true drawing with this key statement as well.

"James and his Throne"

It's no mystery to anyone who knows me that i love wrestling. i have and probably always will as long as i live. I can sell and spin it in some many ways but the truth is I'm an addict. Every time a ppv would come around i would manage to find my way into a Hooters to watch it, eat, and enjoy the lovely ladies that they have working there. Around the time that my best friend from high school, Art had left to go overseas to fight in the war i decided that i would go by myself to indulge in wrestling. I noticed that a guy just like me would be there all the time sitting at the bar watching the event. As with most guys small talk leads to each other saving sits for when one is running late especially if the restaurant is packed. It's good sometimes to talk to someone who is a scholar of the sport. Who has followed it close if not closer than you have. Our friendship has grown even with he moving aways as well. We've seen ppv's together and i even was one of his groom's men. I can truly say I'm enriched for having James as one of my friends and i can only attempt to show him gratitude by drawing him.

Norfolk Drawing Group (Cramped into 1 blog)

I have to apologize ahead of time for not posting these drawing but as most know i haven't had the Internet nor have i been had any free time with getting settled in.

This is my 1st night back mentally and physically after having a horrible day drawing. That's a large part of the reason why that session isn't posted. I can't explain what happened but the previous session simply wasn't working for me. This however was a good night. I want to say it was my birthday which almost makes it better in that sense. Except for a few small miscues which i can see at the moment. I was very pleased with how the night went. This was my first time drawing a full figured model which was fun because it's to easy sometimes to get caught up in the simple line work when life has some many curves and bends. The model was fantastic and full of energy.

I'm not a painter. I do paint but i will never make a living as one because it take way to much energy to do. So i draw and sketch instead. This is my 1st attempt to paint in cheap acrylic during our trust sketch session's painting night. Honestly i attended for it to match the colors of the couches in the living room but it doesn't at the moment. Which means i will have to finish it.

It's good to draw someone that makes you feel fat. In all seriousness the model did a pretty good job for his first time modeling for our group. I attempted to rekindle my love of working in markers but soon found that due to time restraints i should go back to what always seems to keep my as close to having a finished sketch which just so happens to be color pencils. I guess color papers and sketch drawings go hand and hand with me. I would saw a pretty alright night to draw.

Ayesha Sketch

It's funny how you run across picture of the past and you wonder why you've become the person you have. This is a sketch of Ayesha and a few people know the story of who exactly she is and what influence she had on my life. I may never have the opportunity to tell her this face to face but I'm glad what occurred between us did. I'm a better person for that ordeal and I've grown leaps and bounds (so i tell myself). It's always hard to look back on things in life and say well in the end everything will be in the right place because mentally most people are blocked from seeing life in that light. I'm watching this cheesy Kung Fu cinema pack that i picked up from Best Buy (endorsement plug) and the shaolin monks no matter what happens always seem to have a positive spin on life. It's extremely hard to do that I'm attempting to do that as well.

"Wake Up!"

rings in my head at the moment. Once you don't have cable or are unable to watch regular TV you teach yourself to trust your DVD collection to the fullest. I made myself a must watch listen as i attempted to piece together my apartment. Vanilla Sky. The Darjeeling Limited, The Life Aquatic, The Bourne Identity, Slackers, Brotherhood of the Wolf are all movies that i rotated in and out of my DVD player Was i searching for something outside of the directions to putting together Ikea furniture? Of course i was. Well i make sense for me to tell you exactly what it was maybe not. One thing is clear though this apartment is now my home. With sliding doors longer than my arm length you can hear ever single car that passes by in both my living room and bedroom. Plus with paper then walls you possibly could hear the neighbors upstairs running on their exercise equipment or possibly the neighbor next door having sex. Hey maybe i should start a comic book/ journal about what happens in my apartment.

this pic are simply phase one and my apartment is 85% to where it need to be.

"I can't afford not to record"

"I can't afford not to record" is one of my favorite lines by music artist Andre 3000. Which means when the moment to express how you feel you do so.

This blog comes a few days shy of my 29Th birthday and at this moment i feel my age. I've been steady packing up boxes full of memories, papers, books and they all mean so neatly fit into a box. One box lays on the bottom of a piles and piles of boxes that has my scribbled handwriting entitled "Past." Inside the box are Cd's, letters, picture albums from a shell of the men i once was that should never be opened again. Within my brain i rewind those days, events, and ideas that brought me to this place. For example yesterday i drove to Northern VA something that I've done 1 million times. But yesterday it hit me that i use to drive a little bit further to an airports to pick-up someone that will remain name-less. I had to block those feelings and ideas out of my mind because my main goal was to find furniture for a new beginning. The same things were going through my mind as i was scribbling the word "Past"on the box.
The most important reason i started this blog right now was to be honest with myself. Every birthday that I've had has been alone. Yes I've surrounded myself with friends and other times family but never a special someone. Just to show you how bad my karma has been I'll share a story with you. A girl i was dating who was older than me thought it would be a good idea to break a date with me and instead go out with her ex-boyfriend on my birthday. Yes, it happened and this wasn't in high school. This was no more than 5 years ago. Shame huh, nope not at all this is my life. Welcome to being Tommy.

DJ Chassis

i would apologize for my last blog but i feel i shouldn't. It was exactly what i meant for it to be. In the misty of all the changes that are taking place within my life at the moment i began making decisions that will ultimately change who i am. Friends who i once held near and dear to me simply have began to fade away. Why should i try and reel them in any more?

This is one of the DJ Chassis that i ran across while on talent data base website. I was drawn to the simplicity of this photo in which she clutches her headphones in one hand. I wanted to do a complete color pencil drawing. That's something that i haven't done in some time. I've been playing around with the idea of doing something finished instead of a sketch. This is my first attempt in some time that i had an infinite amount of time to complete. I never meet her nor had i heard her music but if it's only 1/2 as pretty as she is then it's probably worth it. Her website is
MySpace.com - DJ CHASSIS TML - 88 - Female - Ogden/Salt Lake City, Utah - www.

Kate

I know Kate because we work together at Old Navy and i love to tell everyone this but i work with some of the best ladies in the world. All of have interesting things that make them specials for various reasons. Kate's reason is that she's artistic as well. Though i've never seen any of her works but from what i've heard she's quite polished. I only wish i was as polished when i was in high school. I didn't get invited to any shows i simply drew in a sketch pad which is still piled up in my room even now. This is one of the draws that i found in her photo gallery that i wanted to use as a drawing. I'm fascinated with reflection drawing even though i did little with this one because it was a sketch.

Norfolk Drawing Group XXIII

Honestly i love these series of sketches that i did this past Tues. I think it has to do with the weary sense of mind state that i stumbled into the drawing group in. I was extremely tired as i mentioned earlier i had be working 9+ hours for a week straight. This night became my emotional awakening as well. I had spent the better part of the weekend juggling friends, going to see art shows, and of course work. The art shows i saw were so energizing that i wanted to draw and paint right then and there. But as soon as i got home i found myself in the arms of my broken sofa and soon in a deep slumber. Just as much as i need to be at the art galleries opening i needed to be among my artist friends.

Norfolk Drawing Group XXII

Honestly little did i know that that Tues would be the day before i worked a week straight. Even on my 2nd day off i'm still a little physically tired, but i'm managed to be semi productive.
Isiah was the model of the evening and i attempted to go a little work in charcoal which was iffy at best. I likee the first drawing of this back but the 2nd one i got a little to caught up in the details of the figure which brought the drawing down. The last sketch i did which is almost always the reclining one was very figurative. i didn't' go out of my way to show volume or emotions but i wanted to give it a better feel to the speed in which it was created.

Nickie was a Beach Babe (pic & drawing)

I plucked this picture some time ago very close to the end of July. My first attempt was sketching inside of a coffee shop EXCEPT it was live music night. My color pencils in a very cramped space didn't quite work out as well as i had wanted it to so i pushed it into the back part of my sketch pad. Sometime last month it became in lunch break and after work project. A picture to lost myself and attempt to stop the world for spinning if only for a moment. The picture created itself without much extra effort at all. I became even more energized when i looking inside an art magazine and saw someone had made their artwork look photo realistic. I was slight jealous because i knew i too could create this same effect as i had in the past.

The funny part about drawing at work or in public is the looks and questions that you get. Is that your girlfriend? Where do you know her from? Wow, she's pretty and oh you draw well too..lol
As always thanks Nickie for allowing me to use your picture again and show the world what a great friend you are

Norfolk Drawing Group XXII

Last Tues night i have one of my best drawing experiences in ages. I think it had more to do with the simply fact that i actually had time to draw for a change. I love doing sketchy drawings but sometimes you want to do something that a little more polished. The drawing isn't complete by far but it's more than 50% of the where i want it to be. The skin tones are still off and the background needs some love as well but it tries to showcase my techinque. A flash of a camera and color pencils don't work well together!

"Lenore" (pic and drawing)

I'm not sure why i haven't posted this drawing because it's been laying completed in one of my many sketch pads for some time. The best part about this is that there's a story behind it all on how i ended up with a single pen & ink drawing.
Lenore is one of the ladies i attend Norfolk Drawing Group with and when i first started going sometime back in spring i was fascinated by her line work. I recall when she drew her lines always seemed to fall into the perfect little place and very rarely went off course. So yeah i'm slightly envious of her control. So as what happens with most people she disappeared from the group and there was some time in which we didn't hear from her much. I hate to see this happen up a group of friends but people come and stop coming for no reason at all. One evening i was flipping through Bernard's flicker site of the group and i stumbled upon this picture. I mentioned earlier that i'm a picture junkie because it allows me control on how long i can spend on a subject matter. My previous conversations with Lenore lead me to believe she was a very interesting person. My first attempt of this drawing was going to be a styling of her own. A very simply but delicate line drawing. As i began drawing i quickly realized that my version would be rather flat so i changed it into an all out pen drawing.

There was something in the way she looked at me

I had this sketch pad out at work and some of my fellow co-workers were flipping through it. After they got done flipping one of them asked me why i always drew women. That's a fairly easy question to ask. There is something very natural about the female body that i feel appealing. That i really enjoy drawing. If i was attracted to anime like most of my friends are then i would draw it. Almost like other paint landscapes etc etc but i enjoy someone more of the human natural because it's something we all can relate to.

The original picture was something that i found through a friend's myspace pad and i kind of stuck with it and it stuck with me. I loved the pose and the way that she was almost hiding from the camera but not really. This is one of the better self taken photos that i've seen in some time. Devaughn, one of the guys i attend drawing group with always draws in pen. His drawing and control with the medium is unrivaled at the moment. I wanted to see if i could get close to or obtain the skill in which he has and the photo gave it to me.

Norfolk Drawing Group XX

So i know that i haven't posted any new artwork in a while yet alone blog but i've been busy. Never to busy to draw but busy enough that i've been able to find a quiet moment to think. These past weeks have been a whirl wind of work and play.
This past Tues night was my first night that i've been to drawing group in some time. Either life has caught up with me or i had other things to do that evening. I know i missing some amazing model and more importantly my friends along with my drawings. After hours especially, but my drawings were fair for someone who hadn't been drawing live models in some time. My favorite one out of all of them is the last one that i did the green color pencil sketch. It's easy on the eyes and shows a relaxing classical pose that i'm attracted to.

Ann (pics and drawings)

(a drawing of her self photo)

Ann (Mother) & Child

These are both drawing that i've started and finished this weekend. It was one of those situations where i finished these drawing quicker than i began them. It's was a small opportunity to take a break between this massive painting that i'm attempting to finish. This actually was fun to do.
I'm not sure if i told this story before but of all the people that i've met my last work related trip to North Carolina she was one of the most friendliest. I've loosely keep in touch with her over the last year. I can honestly say that i don't have any unattractive friends. That isn't merely limited to being physically attractive.
I'm getting off the topic because these drawings i actually used a set of pens which i haven't used in a while. These pens are more expressive and ink flows better than your average BIC pen. I also wanted to see if i could create more expressive lines. I somewhat accomplished my goal by leaving complete and uncompleted shading but it could be better. Overall i'm pleased with these drawings and i hope that it does Ann and her son justice.