"I can't afford not to record"

"I can't afford not to record" is one of my favorite lines by music artist Andre 3000. Which means when the moment to express how you feel you do so.

This blog comes a few days shy of my 29Th birthday and at this moment i feel my age. I've been steady packing up boxes full of memories, papers, books and they all mean so neatly fit into a box. One box lays on the bottom of a piles and piles of boxes that has my scribbled handwriting entitled "Past." Inside the box are Cd's, letters, picture albums from a shell of the men i once was that should never be opened again. Within my brain i rewind those days, events, and ideas that brought me to this place. For example yesterday i drove to Northern VA something that I've done 1 million times. But yesterday it hit me that i use to drive a little bit further to an airports to pick-up someone that will remain name-less. I had to block those feelings and ideas out of my mind because my main goal was to find furniture for a new beginning. The same things were going through my mind as i was scribbling the word "Past"on the box.
The most important reason i started this blog right now was to be honest with myself. Every birthday that I've had has been alone. Yes I've surrounded myself with friends and other times family but never a special someone. Just to show you how bad my karma has been I'll share a story with you. A girl i was dating who was older than me thought it would be a good idea to break a date with me and instead go out with her ex-boyfriend on my birthday. Yes, it happened and this wasn't in high school. This was no more than 5 years ago. Shame huh, nope not at all this is my life. Welcome to being Tommy.