My last post of 09

2009 is almost over and so often i hear others make promises to the future. This year... I'm going to quit, stop, and i'll try harder, but i don't see myself falling into that trap. Of course i know i need to improve. I don't make 01/01/10 as the magic start date that everyone has. My change begins right here and now.

Nude on a Chair

Actually i'm very proud of this sketch for a couple of reasons. One being that i was small enough to scan for a change plus it actually looks like my friend. Sometimes it's hard to get this red scrapbook paper to show up and register well. Especially when you apply layers of color pencils in the way i did.
I opted not to pose the original out of respect for her because it might easily be able to see who she is. I still have a couple of areas i could pull more detail out of, but hey it's a sketch what else do you want?

Katsuni: I was jealous of her clothes (pic & sketch)

I can't even recall where i found this picture, but i liked the posed. The bra/camisole strap isn't completely on her shoulder and the manner in with she is posed is teasing. Plus it's a known fact that i'm a sucker for exotic women.

Norfolk Drawing Group #63

I hate getting to the drawing group late because i feel like i miss so much sometimes. Most of the time it isn't even my fault either, it's because of work ( i never get out of that place on time). Honestly i knew i was missing out, so instead of falling victim to a headache i pushed my way out. For the past weeks i have felt a little behind artistically because my friends have been branching out. Some trying mediums they normally don't use as well as drawing on different colored paper. Therefor this time i decided to draw on black paper which is sometime i hadn't done in a while. I actually like the contract value of the white on the paper as well as the manner in which it allows me to slowly build up. I'm not trying to fight the make the image paper but it comes along on it's own.

more Mrs. Christinsen

I know i spoke about Helen Christinsen and how i've been somewhat mesmerized by her. Not because of the music video she was in but because she's a very good model. So last Saturday after work while i was at Panera i began drawing this sketch. I'm not to sure if you can notice it or not but i can tell this still needs some work done to it. Which goes to show an artist's work is never done.

Christmas Spirit...

I had lost the Christmas spirit all together yesterday. I was strongly considering simply not going to to celebrate it with my family. I had made up my mind i would just mope and collect my thoughts before heading back to work on Saturday. It was 1 am by the time i had gotten off work and hopped into my car. Weds i had went to work a little early to help out because i knew it was going to be busy. By the evening I had to count all the money by hand because the money counter was broken [ all 12 drawers]. The store has been a complete mess for almost a month now something which i'm not use to seeing. I had the "i don't think i can do another Christmas again" conversation with another manager as well. A laundry list of things ran through my head as i drove home.
It's very odd how humbling life can be sometimes. You always seem to get the right advice or message at the perfect time. I parked and was getting out my car when i noticed some motoring noise. At first i thought i was the building on the other side of the fence and they had their heater on then i realized something else. It was actually coming from the car beside me. I would have sworn that this was a one time only occurrence until i realized i saw this same car last week with someone in it. The reality of the situation set in, someone has been sleeping in their car. I just checked the temperature and it's 27* outside. Here i'm crying about folding clothes, counting money and cranky customers. How right is that? Honestly do i really have a right to complain when i get off work and i can come inside my own four walls? At that moment i saw how thankful i should be. I just hope that everyone else around me should feel the same way because in all seriousness we don't have as it as bad as we think we do.

Tara/Victoria (pic & sketch)

It's no great mystery to anyone that i'm a huge fan of wrestling. I have and probably always will be regardless of what's going on in my life. So when i stumbled upon this picture as i do with most drawings i hopped at the opportunity to draw Victoria. I almost completely this 3 color sketch as Panera (my favorite hide away to kill time at) and later on this week finished it.

Norfolk Drawing Group 62

I made it out later than i normally do most evening because i had a mess to clean up at work. My sketches progressed during the night as you can tell from what my friend Noah said about my green sketch. He called it the "mutant mitten" hands that i drew. Time wasn't on my side the time around but overall i had a good time. It was even more fun later on when we went out for food and drinks. That's one of many other stories i can tell.

Norfolk Drawing Group 61 : "The Couch of Doom"

I fell victim to the comfy couch of doom. It was painting night and as much as i wanted to paint. I brought all the charcoal materials trying to convince myself that i would not paint. Mainly because it take just as long to get out all the materials as it does to put it all away plus wet paint and my car don't go well together. So at the break i did what others did and took a break and sat down. Before i knew it conversations allowed me to sink deep into the couch and it was 10 o'clock and we were leaving. This is my attempt at drawing the model that evening. The bad part is that she wasn't frowning but most of the sketches and painting i saw had her doing just that.

Wicked Games & Letter works

Anyone who knows me, know i enjoy drawing on my letter covers. It's like a nice way of giving a small personal extension of myself. My letter work isn't always the greatest thing i possible could've created but then again sometimes i hit the good mine with my attempts.It's like a sketch session to work out my ideas of what the real drawing will or can look like.

The reason why i stumbled upon Helen Christinsen because AOL posted an article about a 40 year old modeling nude for a magazine. Normally that wouldn't be anything amazing or noteworthy but i decided to read it and take a look at some of the photos. For Helen to be her age she is still in tip top shape. So why the outrage? This lead me to actually go and research some of her photos and these are only a few i came across. So these photos are only a small window at the real attempted drawings i will complete soon. Just in case you thought she looked familiar she's actually the girl from the hottest steamiest video that i remember watched when i was younger "Wicked Games."

Aino Kishi (pic & sketch)

I very rarely use Crayola color pencils because they don't have a great range of colors nor do they really have the impression of being true vivid colors. But this is an attempt at a sketch that i did last week sometime in the early hours of the night. Honestly this is my 2nd attempt at this sketch i had to do it over again because the tilt to her head was throwing off my sketch. So even for cheap color pencils it didn't turn out to horrible.

Acts of Random Thoughts Vol. 2

1

.NEVER take those close to you for granted one day they may not be there (the office season 3)

2. How you can hang out with someone every week for months then the next moment they avoid you like the plague??

3. You should never get some comfortable out in public (restaurants, coffee shops, etc) to take off your shoes [unless your under the age of 5].

4. If you have any talent you should be practicing it all the time because when you aren't someone else is practicing harder than you are

5. I wish i could go to other people's job and act the way they do when they're in my store.

6. Don't get mad at me because you didn't read the sign. I wasn't your elementary school teacher.

7. My favorite line that i use at work coming from the movie Airplane. " I guess i picked the wrong week to stop drinking!"

8. I need to get over my laziness and paint on some canvas

9. I need to start my Christmas shopping

10. I need to start working out so i can look like Brad Pitt in Fight Club

A quick story about a Wham! song and me

i'm not sure if they were playing this song at work or not. But i've been thinking about this song very often. Maybe because it really happened one Christmas a long time ago or some wounds never heal. Even now it's still this is my favorite Christmas song.

"Lean in Closer" (pic & sketch)

Sometimes i hate taking photos of my artwork because no matter how much i attempt to touch up the drawing it never turns out just right. I played around with functions on the paged but nothing really came about well. In the words of Charlie Brown "Ugh!

Jordan (pic & sketch)

For the record i didn't plan this out for me to post this drawing on Jordan's birthday. However things have a way of working out that way but the real kicker is she's never read this blog. So why not speak freely. Jordan is an interesting one of co-worker at Old Navy. As i've noted before my job both as an artist and as a retail manager trains me to study people's behaviors. This is my short insight on Jordan. I see her as being the all American girl next door that most guys would find interesting. A girl who claims to fear the word "relationship" but secretly wants one. Yet another like most girls claims to never want to fall in love with but would in a heart beat if the right person approached her. So on the inside behind the clouds of cigarette smoke ( she's trying to quit) and hard exterior she's a softy. That was truly makes me laugh sometimes as much as she pretends that no one can see exactly who she is i as well as others can..

Me & The Soloist

While my sister was in town before her latest stint of heading to Johnson's & Whales again she let me borrow some movies. I thought i was a movie junkie but apparently i was wrong. My sisters are massed a collections of movies that makes my small collection look more like a yard sale variety. I borrowed The Last House on the Left and The Soloist. I really won't touch on The Last House on The Left to much because it was exactly what i expect it to be and from what i can tell 10x better than the original.

However The Soloist truly spoke to my artist side. Both leading actors worked well together and showed a range of character that allowed them to step away from the a-typical roles. One main phrase leaped off the screen and into my mind. Friends try to hard to change each other to force them to conform to what they believe is correct. Instead we should just accept others for who they are. I've struggled with that idea as i watched a younger friend wonder this way though life not really challenging himself at all. It even got to the point that our mutual friends as well as his mother wanted to have an intervention style of act of his life's progress.

I also felt the creative juices as i like to call it from Jamie Foxx's character as he worked himself into a zone where there was nothing but his music. It's hard for me to explain to others that feelings to be so artistically in tune with your medium that nothing else matters. The closest thing that most people have is when they read a book and better they know it 3 pages turn into 30 pages. Soon the entire book is finished and they are begging for the ride not to be over. That's how i feel when i pick up a pencil, pen, marker, paint brush, etc to create. I'm engrossed in something that is so liberating and expressive that i don't want it to let go. It's a natural high of sorts that i can't get from drinking, drug or anything else.

It Was the Day after Thanksgiving...

I awoke Friday morning early from a dream about a former girlfriend. In theory at least you would think you can control your dreams but this time i couldn't. I won't go into great detail with what actually happened but the end result was my dream mocked me. It spelled out the same fate that i know would happen in real life. One moment of weakness would eventually give way to reality of which is a broken heart. It doesn't pay to be a hopeless romantic in your dreams.

Since i haven't had a day after Thanksgiving off in ages i declared this year that i was not going to get caught up in the madness. I did what little shopping i was going to online. 3am or 5am for some people came and went and i slept in my bed. The reason being because there was nothing i could not live without in the stores. I hate to admit it but consumers in general get caught up in the price tag and not the season. I know this is the giving season and certain gifts would be perfect for others but is that truly the gift we're giving?The best gift you could give someone would be love and that's something you can't put a price tag on. I catch myself not saying that because i've been in the retail business for 14 years. I'm suppose to be a trained machine that pushes and drives sales but off the clock i should be able to speak my mind. I find myself questioning people's logic sometimes and i watch their behaviors. For example this is a real conversation that took place at Old Navy between me and some customers as i was attempting to straighten up a table:

Me:Hey Ms, what size are you looking for? I might be able to help you out
young girl: I looking for these tanks tops in a mediums
Me: Here's, a medium here! ( as i pull out a brown and blue tank)
young girl: nope, i don't' want that color? I was looking for something warmer (color)
Me: If you can tell me what color you're looking for i can help you out?
oung girl: Honestly i don't know what i'm looking for!
young girl: Sorry about the mess!
young girls mother replies: what are you apologizing for, you didn't make this mess?!

I should have screamed at the mother or barked her for teaching her daughter bad habits but i didn't. Instead i watched the sweat bubbled up on my bald head and i smiled my devilish grin. Just in case you don't' believe that scenario i'll give you another one that just shows how wit goes a long way. I was at the dreaded women's denim wall. It is a prove fact that once our denim goes on sale women lose their minds. They don't know what style/fit they want just that they want this color in their size. Our company has made it easier for women by only having 3 styles and even that seems to much for their "i'm happy there's a sale going on" mind frame. I was folding denim at that wall when a lady comes out. She's there with her boyfriend or husband and she begins to do pull out denim without really looking at the size. Then she rolls it back up and shoves it in the wall. About this time i'm getting a little frustrated but instead i ask " Hey Ms, what size are you looking for, i might be able to help you out?" She replies "Oh i'm just looking!" This is the moment with the brutal honesty and wit kicks in as i jokingly say " Well Ms, you look with your eyes, not with your hands." That's the top shelf sarcasm that can either make people mad or happy but i was being honest.

I want to apologize for my comment that women shopper were the worst thing ever created. No, it's not all shopper just the one that shop ever place i've worked at. How can you shop through a table that's already a mound of shirts as tall if not taller than you? Yes, our t-shrit tables weren't fully recovered but that didnt' stop them from digging and sling shirts aside just find the gem they were in search of. Why would you pick up a size that isn't even the one you want to buy just to look at it? Ladies if you're a large dont' pick up the x-small to see if you like it then roll it up and throw it back down. Perhaps i'm must frustrated because of my insane work schedule [ Fri 12pm-1:30am, Sat 8am - 5:20pm] or just maybe i'm over the holidays all together. People wonder why i don't like this time of year!!

Rachelle (pic & sketch)

I feel in love with this pictures when i realized what i had taken that evening. That Halloween night my Richmond friends had mixed drinking, dancing and laughs all evening. Rachelle was playing around with Maria's mask at Tobaccos & Company. I know it's only an attempt at a monochromatic sketch but this is what i did on my break at lunch. Even seeing it now it could use some fine tuning.

Jayelnn

i was wondering around on facebook a couple of weeks ago and from time to time i found good profile pics. This is one of that i did of a girl i know Jayelnn

rose sketches for a friend

Yet another case where i had my reference photos that i don't exactly know how well they'll work for me.

here is my initial attempt in my sketch book. I never really know where i'm going until i get there

I fully understand how to use color pencils and sometimes they can be challenging but honestly i'm not jumping for joy over this sketch. It's just a so-so version to me.

Not so often i get a challenge of drawing a sketch that seems like a cool idea. My friend Eric wanted a black rose sketch for himself. Therefor i attempted to give him something that was more masculine with hard, gritty edges and i like this one better than the color pencil one. It just seems more fun to do.

Norfolk Drawing Group 60

One of my first back to back sessions that i've done in some time. The normal crowd of artist were back which is refreshing. Somehow on a rainy evening as well as a couple of days before a holiday i managed to bring my body out that evening. I had been nursing a splitting headache the whole day and thanks to some meds my dad gave me i still had the energy to draw. The talented Emily was the modeling that evening and even if my sketches can prove it she's very graceful in her ability to hold a pose.

Norfolk Drawing Group 59

The sad thing is that i skipped the previous week due to the fact that i was living off my credit card for almost 2 weeks. That's a very crazy story that i'll save for a later date. There i was, i had missed a months worth of drawing sessions and came back on the busiess night of the fall. One of the fellow members, Mark had brought his class to the group to do some real model drawing. I found my small nook and attempted to do some drawing. Overall i had a good time, i would've have changed it for anything in the world. If only for a moment at least everything felt right and i felt at home. Plus of the 4 sketches that i did, the only one that i would consider throwing away would be the reclining one. I would consider that to be a win-win situation.

My Vision Board

I remember a little over a year ago i was watching Oprah and 2 girls were talking about their vision board. Things that they wanted to do, where it be something short term or long term. They also were ensuring that they were making the right steps to achieve those goals. However i don't have a board but why writing it here perhaps it will serve as mine. There goals are in no certain order at all.



1. i want to go to London. Perhaps to study art but more than anything this is always been a place that i saw myself living. It would be even cooler if i could make it to the Olympic in 2012.

2. I want to quit working retail. It's not the life i'm suppose to live. i continue to go because there's some certain lesson i'm suppose to learn. Something that i'm just not that sure of at the moment. I believe soon i won't have to do that any more.


3. I want to go to Universal Studio again. It's been almost 10 years since i went last time on a romantic getaway. Since i love roller coaster this is one of my favorite theme parks that isn't just a theme park to go to.


4. I want to go back to school and get my Masters. Something easily i could do at any given moment but i also want to get the university to pay for me to go to school. That's the tricky part that i haven't been looking into but i should.


5. i want another art show. Not just any thrown together one like i had last time but i want a serious one. The first one i did was okay for my first one but like all sequels the next should be bigger and better.


6. I want to go to Tokyo, Japan. This place has been calling my name for some time. Even though it would be completely out of my comfort zone to be somewhere that people may have a hard time understanding me i still want to go. Perhaps like London it's the Asian side of me wanting to gain a greater knowledge from a journey there. Plus i can be Bill Murray from Lost in Translation.



7. I want to go watch Duke play a home basketball game. I've been a huge Duke basketball fan since i fell in love with them in the early 90s. Once i hopped on that bandwagon i never got off. The true draw for me is the exciting atmosphere at one of their home games. I want to be among the Camron Crazies that make the game more than a real life experience to be a part of.


8. I want to go to Wrestlemania. I've been a wrestling fan a large part of my life well over 20 years of my life. This simple fact is driven home by the idea that i would drive 3 to 4 hours tomorrow to Washington DC , plus pay $300 for a ringside seat at a ppv event. I know it's fake and it's scripted but nothing has been able to break me away from this form of entertainment. Wrestlemania for all wrestling fans is the mecca of the events. People from all over the world come to watch that show for one night and simply to say they were apart of it all. I've missed 2 maybe 3 opportunities so far but i don't see myself missing any more if they come close enough.

No, the Noreaster storm isn't outside.. it's inside of me!!

It's been nothing but gray skies and rain for the past couple of days and i'm tired. Even though i shouldn't be stressed because of work i'm drained by fighting the endless battle of customer service. However what i do isn't customer service at all it's just weathering the storm being a complaint department. I can snicker now but it's not even officially holiday season. I've turned off my phone and there's nothing better to do than to wrap myself up in a blanket and simply sleep. TV serves as the perfect companion for days like this.

Like Water in Your Hands

It might have been a typical Tuesday for everyone else but for me it was a little different. I enjoy my solitude because it allows me to think and reflect. I refer to myself as being very zen-like at times. This past week the idea of love popped into my head. Love is sometimes like water in your hands. You try very hard to control, squeeze, and cradle it but in the end it always leaves.

I spoke previously about a friend of mine having a birthday this week. I thought back to the time where our relationship was slowly fading away. At that time it was like water in my hands. I did everything to revive feeling to regain that spark and still drifted apart. I'm constantly reminded that i couldn't have been the person i am today nor would i have meet those people i call friends without situations like this.