Holidays

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QX9b7vT-1Xw

Christmas has come and gone and what I've realized is that this is one holiday that i never get a chance to really enjoy myself during. I say that because since i was 17 i've been working retail. While most people have the luxury of shopping when they want to and spending time with love ones i don't. My focus has always been about simply recovering when i get the time to. I've been more emotionally drained this year than i can recall any previous year. That has a lot to do with being yelled at or pulled in so many directions on any given day that I ask myself is this really where I'm suppose to be. So on my days off i don't want to go anywhere simply sleep. For example i got off work this past Tues and everyone who knows that i go to my drawing group that night. I was so burnt out that i went home only to rest up but ending up falling asleep. I know I've missed parties, movie outing, and hanging out with friends over the past months but honestly i can't take the complete blame for it. I'm simply tired!

Overall i did have a good Christmas. I got plenty of things that i needed not only around the house but in life as well. I got to see my family, cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandmothers even if it was for a brief moment in time. Until next time.

Emily (sketch revisited)

Previously i draw a simply pen sketch of my friend Emily. One thing i try to attempt to do often is draw in the same manner in which their original artist would. In this case, it's Emily and her style in itself is very mystic and imaginative. I couldn't come close to that while i attempted to finish it one early morning before work this past week. But i feel it balances out the empty background that i have and separates the foreground as well.

"Gabby Sketch"

Just recently my little niece the 2 foot terror celebrated her 1st birthday. Actually today after i got off of work i went to her birthday party. Being an uncle is actually different that i could have imagined. I guess it's a good thing that she still knows who i am even after moving out some time ago. It's funny not to long ago she wasn't just crawling now she's walking up and down steps. Who knows maybe one day I'll even have a son or daughter of my very own but until that i will cherish the fact that she is a handful.

"Brian (sketch & picture)"

I pretty much can get along with anyone working at Old Navy. There are also a few people that even if i didn't work there we'll probably be friends. Brian is one of those people. I've know him for over a year and i can say overall he's a very cool and very level headed person who never loosing himself in the moment. I have yet to see him get loud or raise his voice, that's hard to do with you're surrounded by crazy customers and insane associates. So i dedicate this to the pencil sketch to the coolest that we all should process.

Superman Doesn't Always Wear His glasses.. (Trey)

So what can i say about Mr. Trey that isn't true. That's how this blog should really start. Actually Trey is yet another one of my store opening friends that i've had a pleasure enough to meet and enjoy hanging out with in Richmond. I give him credit for doing the right thing and getting out of the Old Navy hassle when the moment was right. There's so many numerous stories i can tell about the Adventures of Trey & Tommy, for example being at a seafood dinner that actually turned into a club after hours or the infamous "Hey Girl !" story which never gets old. I can say Trey is good friend to have. So if you ever see any pictures of me in Richmond this guy isn't to far behind.

katie Lea Burchill

One thing i'm very proud of is that i'm a wrestling fan. I have been and probably always. I'm not going to justify the reason why i like it because this isn't what this post is about. This post is about a female wrestler, Katie Lea. It's a very known fact to those who know me that i'm a sucker for european women and i'm drawn to women with long hair. So when i saw her and heard her accent as well it the rest is pretty much history. I stumbled on this photo which which i simply couldn't turn down the chance to draw. I hope that my version of the original  does her the justice that she deserves. 

Leia (sketch) "She worn her faith with her always"

Leia is actually yet another one of my c0-workers that work with. Why i keep raiding there photo galleries is a small mystery to me. She's one of my fellow Portsmouth people which make me happy to know that i wasn't the only one taking the insane 30 minutes or more, never less drive to Virginia Beach to work. The best part is that she's actually going to my former high school as well. I have to lover a fellow Churchland Trucker. 

What i'm most proud to say about Leia is the fact she is one person that i know who is extremely open about everything in her life. Which is hard for most people to do and she's proud of her faith. 

The Real Reason Why I Draw....

hopefully it's clear and easy for everyone to see what that reason is by now. I do it because there's an itch within my body that simply needs to be scratched. Today i was in Barnes & Nobles which is my normal spot to unwind sitting in the cafe table sketching out of magazines. I was there not because i was attention drive but simply for the reason it felt right. It's a place that  encourages squatter to sit, stay and enjoy the atmosphere. 

To put it simply i don't draw for fame or for recognition. i just want to be know as someone who was simply working out things inside my head and mind in a creative way.  Don't get me wrong if people like my art work or i do gain fame along the way that would be just as well but there was never my reason. 

I was having a similar discussion with one of my fellow drawing mate Bernard this past Tuesday about what are the main things that give me joy. I tried to explain to him this is my joy. I idea of  having a voice that can be seen, felt, and expressed with others is the greatest thing in the world. I spend so much of my day in side job (retail) being restrained from being the person i know i am but this is my way of liberating myself. So when I'm on my break with a pencil or pen in my hand drawing it's mental meditation for me. 

Above is my mini studio, which is actually my dinning room of my apartment. I say that because my day job annual income doesn't really allow me to have second room which was to be my studio. I tacked up pics which would be future art work which slowly one by one will be pulled down. 

Mary Mary!" (sketch)

It's funny how quickly a sketch takes form. Last night i was bored because nothing good was on tv and there was nothing really to treat as background noise so i finished up this picture and began to sketch. Part of the reason that lead to me to this picture is due to that fact that i saw Mary at work this past week. It's at least been a couple of months since she's popped in but it's good to know that she's doing well. The fondest memories is that Mary gives the best hugs that i know. I'm secure enough to say that as a guy, but she makes you feel really loved when she hugs someone.

blue book (value)

a model that i missed one night during drawing because i was sick
Janette Lee "The Black Widow" not only is she sexy but she can play pool too.
Emily, during one of our down sessions with coffee in hand. this is still a work in progress because i know how she loves her abstract backgrounds..lol


I recently finished another sketch pad. It seems to happy more often as i write down my things as well as idea in scribble language that hopefully only i can understand. I made a small promise to myself that i would take i would grab a sketch pad that would be filled with nothing but serious drawings. Normally my doodles get have really little or no structure but this supposedly small jem would be different. All them of these are pen drawings.

" Brittany" (pic & sketch)

This is the quick story of Brittany. I mentioned this before i was part of a traveling store opening group for Old Navy. Before the slow down in the store openings one of the last stores that i opening in Va was the Chesapeake Sq. location. You meet well over a hundred people and some stand out and other done but i recall meeting Brittany. I guess it was her bubbly attitude towards life that peeked my attention. Over the next couple of months either i would come in to shop or work at that location and she would there. So as you can imagine our friendship grew. She was like the girlfriend that i never saw [only if i was younger j/k].

She asked me recently why i didn't draw any pictures of her and i told her because EVERY picture i always see of her is smiling. I don't draw happy people because it seems like a large production and overly posed, but as you can see i drew her that way.

Norfolk Drawing Group Sketch Session (revisited)

Everyone has there own definition of what family and friends but the closest thing I've come to that is rubbing elbows with some really talented people every Tues night. It gets my creative juices flowing and inspires me to be more creative as well watching others that are passionate about art. Some are doing this for a hobby other that are doing this as a profession but I'm simply in awe. I often invite my friends to come and draw not because it's therapeutic but for the simple fact that art is one thing that has no wrong and right answer. Any given Tues i have someone creating a massive 5 foot tall sketch on the ground , someone else beside sketching strictly with a pen that looks similar to a pencil drawing, and a human art printer that sketches from left to right as well as top to bottom. I know i talk about about samurais and respect but i'm honored to be there.

"Craig (sketch & pic)"

This past summer while i was in Richmond i had a chance to hang out with Craig who is a pretty interesting guy. This is sketch i drew from one of his pictures.

"Vi (pic & sketch)"

I attempted to keep my promise and by purchasing a camera which to attempt to feel more productive about my sketching. This sketch i actually did a while ago for one of my co-workers Vi. Vi is a little funny from time to time mainly because she'll ask you the same question 11x within 2 minute time frame. "Tommy, what time are we leaving?" "Hey Tommy, what time are we leaving?" The funniest thing is that you would think that she would change her wording or phrasing... NOPE! In all seriously, Vi is a pretty cool person to work with.

"I Sing for Her But She isn't Here"

is actually one of my favorite lines from the movie The Killer. I changed the him to her to fit what my own context. I find myself being drawn and collecting movie of assassins and professional hit man which could explain why i posted this. Recently i finished reading a collection of stories that span 28 books (of which i have 26 of them) and 2 to 3 years of buying them off and on about a samurai. Few know the tale of Lone Wolf and Cub but that is a story that's close to my heart. I sympathize with characters that has been seemingly defeated, because it gives me hope that my life will change as well. I won't go into detail about it because i have my own violin to play. I determined to get a camera this weekend i can tell you that is one thing that will happen.

Rules of Attraction

One of my favorite channels to watch at this moment has been IFC or Encore. As numerous times as they show the same movie i continue to watch it. One of the movies that they showed tonight was "The Rules of Attraction." Quite often i hear people say it's to weird or out of the box to be good movie, still i like it never the less. I even went to as far as to read the book. It plays off how cruel perception can be in love and relationships. Your mind plays tricks on you sometimes that you can't believe. If you haven't seen it it's worth a browse.

I guess my main message since i don't have any artwork to post is about love (still N O camera). I want to write a love poem for someone but i'm unable to do so. Writers block is a horrible curse for someone who's creative, but that's what i'm struck with at the moment. I know what directions i want them to head in but i'm able to write. I watched "The Baxter" this past weekend. It was clearly a under the radar type of indie film but the message was in love sometimes people are "Baxters.' Baxter could be defined as a person in a relationship that is a safe choice for their lover but ultimately gets left for what could be deemed as true love. It's safe to say i've been a Baxter quite often, but it's okay if i don't play the game i can't get hurt.

This theory also ties into Kanye's newest album 808s and Heartbreaks, which it a strange but good fruit to eat. When it raining and i find myself listening to the rain drops as they fall doom and gloom sits in. That album was unsettling as going outside into the cold weather in the morning. I was forced to handle and deal with ideas that have been tossed around in my head for some time. I can't hide behind drawings, tv, sleep, or even movies and for that reason i like the album.

Bruises - Chairlift

This so happens to be my Thanksgiving Day blog. Which means that it officially starts the holiday season. I have become to desensitized by the holidays due to working retail. I remember Christmas use to be a happy occasion where it would be a huge celebration but it isn't what it was. Tomorrow most likely i'll head into work and get yelled at over things i have very little or no control over with the idea that people are angry because they are out shopping searching for deals. I can sense it already. After dealing with that all day, do i really want to go out shopping for the perfect gift for someone?

What i find interesting is to listen to people talk. If you ever want to know what's on someones mind or where there mental state is at simply by allowing them to talk. I listened to someone vent about there life and it became clear what their goals were and where their past history was as well. I gained all this knowledge just by listening. So many people wonder why i'm so quiet or why i don't say much most of the time. It's because i'm observing my surrounds and it shows me how deeply i'm able to engage people in conversation. So in a nutshell if you someone and you think this might be an interesting person to know, Chuck D put it best when it said "DOn't Believe the Hype!"

My failed attempt as lead me not to buy a camera just yet. I need one because i need to post so new work. The one above is from NDG and it was one of my lazier attempts at perfection.

"Everything is in it's right place" - Radiohead

I really like that song. I'm not sure why, but it's stuck in my head at the moment. Honestly i'm not even a Radiohead fan either. I hate when i wake up in the morning and realize that i don't have to get up early and i actually should be laying in the bed aways. I don't have to be to work until 9pm and still i'm up before 8am. Frustrating is the only word to come up how i feel.

I proud of myself because today i actually finished a drawing of my friend Brittney that i had started some time ago. With my work schedule being a little odd and other friendly get together that i've been involved with it's a little hard to find time to draw let alone create.

When i was looking for a cassette tape that i had i found a mix tape i created from a friend i use to know. The bad things being that i never gave it to her. A mix tape is one of the most emotional things that you can give to someone. It's like sharing a secret part of yourself with the statement that is the music that i like and i hope you like as well. More than anything else it's take time to create a such a tape or cd. Obviously, you can go blind and songs but then what's the fun in that?

I proud that i finally found time even if it was past 3am this past weekend to start writing poetry again. I started writing a week ago but i really haven't had a chance to finish anything. There's something very spiritual and emotional when you share your worlds and thoughts with everyone. One of my best fears not only as an artist but as a person would be that my voice won't be heard. That's why i haven't entered any shows in a while!

Don't Play With Me Cause You Play With Fire....

is one of my favorite songs at the moment. I know it's an oldie but it's The Rolling Stones. More importantly it's the true meaning of how i feel at the moment. I know i should be tired because i just drove to Richmond for my friend's Trey's b-day outing only to drive back the same night. Caffeine pills do wondering for the body in moments like this, especially when you know you have to be at work at less than 4 hours. I won't lie to you this blog is going to be all over the place but hopefully in the end as calmly as it started.

I lost my camera over a week ago so i won't be posting any of my sketches or drawing for some time. I'm a little unhappy about it but this is something that simply had to happen in my eyes, even thought at the moment i don't understand why.

I know to often i rant and rave about relationships and dating,but one of my favorite quotes from a song sums up everything: "Women will never be as important as music (art), and if she thinks she is. then she's only fooling herself" My true love will always be my artwork, and i am single because i'm a lazy dater and no one has yet to make me feel better than anything i have or will create. Until then that's the way i'll remain.

I heard from a friend from my past a little over to weeks ago. I think of her sometimes but the truth is thoughts are mere thoughts nothing more. I strongly leaning towards creating some paintings with her in mind. How positive will they be? I can't honestly say at the moment. I'm not even sure if it will be viewed or expressed as paying respect. Speaking of artwork, i had an idea for a show that i got from a friend. The idea is to build upon what my first show "Illusions of Love" was dealing with. Something a little more darker than i'm use to dealing with. I figure i have to fight through the darkness to get to the light.

I have yet to really talk with anyone in detail about my thoughts on this past election. Well i can say that i'm happy to see that America actually does want to see some change take place. Regardless of whom anyone voted for at least this time around everyone went to the polls and voted. This past election was larger than i can imagine at this moment. Honestly speaking of course i probably would've voted for McCain if he was able to separated himself from Bush's style of running the country, but he couldn't. Almost every interview or speech he have was sending mixed signals. What i am disgusted by is the fact is due to the level of people's stupidity. One thing that completely frustrates me to no end is talking or hearing someone close minded talk. I haven't a lot of comments even read some as well. Zombie like state of mind following what someone else said without the belief that you have a brain and can think for yourself people need to wake up. I read someone i knew post a message saying "Now America have a face to put on a food stamp (speaking of Obama)" while another former college football player stated "Let's call a hunting party and go to the White House!" Above all i'm disappointed because i know i work with and wait on customers would darker feelings on the election.

<my drawing but not my pic.. all credit to to Bernard from Norfolk Drawing Group>

Rachel Weisz

This will be the blog sums up everything of great importance at the moment so if you get lost along the way it's probably your own fault. My vacation for work is almost half way over and i feel very unproductive. I've done a couple of sketches but the small odds and ends that are out of place in my apartment need to be taken care of and not neglected. I believe the will before to late. My thermostat is giving me troubles. I do know how to read and follow directions but i swear it's against me and blowing cold air no matter what setting i have it on. I'm 100% packed for my trip to Richmond to hang out with my extend family/friend base. My friend Trey is having his Halloween party with a Gangster and cops theme. I spent $60 at Party City believe me that was no party but hey it's be worth it. One of my friends from the drawing group DeVaugh was nice enough to let me borrow Amelie and Garden State. I really liked both movies and if you haven't seen it please watch them. Amelie is one i know i must add to my "please buy me list." I added 28 Days Later, 28 Weeks Later, Confidence, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, and Killer Klowns from Outer Space to my collection. yeah i know that's an odd combination of movies but AMC's Terror Fest has left a sour taste in my mouth. I could be wrong but a year ago they had continuous horror movies both new and old running all day long. Now it feels a little lack lustered watching the same movies day after day. I find myself watching Sci Fi more than AMC and to think i like AMC better. Panic Room IS NOT A TERROR/HORROR movie. I don't want to ever see it filed underneath that genre again.

This brings me to Rachel Weisz and why i drew her ( a badly drawn sketch). On the same day i brought Confidence, Constantine on tv (both movies that she acted in). Rachel reminds me of someone from my past that recently has tried to get in contact with me again. I have some many memories around me that i have to try to make new ones. Perhaps 10 years from now......

which also in closing brings me to Broken Flowers another movie i watched during pre-cable experience. the lesson i learned is sometimes you can pick up from where you left off at and others you have to simply chalk it up as a lesson in life.

Norfolk Drawing Group XXX : Rock n' rolla

I wouldn't be lying if i said i honestly thought about walking out of the drawing group last night. It's not because i harbored any bitterness to anyone there, but because the model inability to stand still caused some problems. Granted it was her first time modeling for an extended amount of time but something seems a little off about her. Possibly she was bubbly or maybe it was the Pepsi that she was sipping. It allowed me to trust my medium and not rely so much on the model staying in the same spot. One of the fellow artist Mike pointed that out to me that you have to "draw faster" or simply go with the flow. When i say trust your medium, i simply mean that with my style instruments like color pencils, or pastels allow me to be loose and capture the gesture.

Even with a so-so model good times were to be had by all. I did learn that alligators have sexual reproductive organs similar to humans at happy hour. Plus songs were sang for both Allison and DeVaughn. Now that's love..lol

Oh Kate Lea!

So this is what i'm working on at the moment. It's a picture that forces me to focus completely on attempting to make it look like the original picture. Honestly i've fiddled around with this color pencil drawing for well over a month. With millions of ideas swimming back and forth throughout my mind i know i can't move forward until i complete this one first. Just for FYI reasons, her name is Kate lea and she's a professional wrestler.

Norfolk Drawing Group XXIX

Emily modeled for us this pat Tues night. I must admit that Emily is not only a very cool person but a great model as well. I think i enjoy her bubbly approach to life,because not everyone can feel that way. These are some of the sketches that i did through the night. As the evening grew on my draws became better. If you didn't make it out that evening i can only hope to explain what i mean when i say it was a truly fun evening.

Penelope Cruz (sketch)

I mentioned some time ago that i was watching the movie Vanilla Sky and without mumbling i can say I'm attracted to women with exotic beauty. I can't pin point exactly what it is, possibly the accent or the facial structure but when you draw as often as i do you learn to appreciate things that are different. Cherish them in some sense. I jokingly revealed to some of my co-workers that exotic women are turn on. There response was go looking on-line for one, but my beliefs lay in the realization that the best things are let up to chance and being patient. I guess until then I'll be dreaming until my Penelope Cruz tells me to "Open Your Eyes!"

Diana Meyers (pic & sketch)

So yet again it's time for Saw because Halloween is right around the corner. i bring up Diana and the Saw series for a reason. She was the one of the detective in the movies until she was killed off. I'm was first drawn to her when she appeared in the movie Starship Trooopers. Which was extremely an over the top sci fi movie that i saw over 10 years ago with my friends Art and Kimani.

"Cara & Erica"

The story behind this sketch that Cara gave me a couple of photos taken in a picture booth as part of her going away gift to me. Cara since then has moved from Va to Texas. One of the things that Cara is most proud of in life is her children. Erica being her youngest and the only girl which makes her that much more special in the family. This sketch i believe shows the importance of children within our lives. It reminds us of what it means to be young. So often as adults we can't remember being young and living life without boundaries. No one should ever feel tied down because we aren't. Who knows maybe one day soon I'm put this sketch to some good use and it's become a true drawing with this key statement as well.

"James and his Throne"

It's no mystery to anyone who knows me that i love wrestling. i have and probably always will as long as i live. I can sell and spin it in some many ways but the truth is I'm an addict. Every time a ppv would come around i would manage to find my way into a Hooters to watch it, eat, and enjoy the lovely ladies that they have working there. Around the time that my best friend from high school, Art had left to go overseas to fight in the war i decided that i would go by myself to indulge in wrestling. I noticed that a guy just like me would be there all the time sitting at the bar watching the event. As with most guys small talk leads to each other saving sits for when one is running late especially if the restaurant is packed. It's good sometimes to talk to someone who is a scholar of the sport. Who has followed it close if not closer than you have. Our friendship has grown even with he moving aways as well. We've seen ppv's together and i even was one of his groom's men. I can truly say I'm enriched for having James as one of my friends and i can only attempt to show him gratitude by drawing him.

Norfolk Drawing Group (Cramped into 1 blog)

I have to apologize ahead of time for not posting these drawing but as most know i haven't had the Internet nor have i been had any free time with getting settled in.

This is my 1st night back mentally and physically after having a horrible day drawing. That's a large part of the reason why that session isn't posted. I can't explain what happened but the previous session simply wasn't working for me. This however was a good night. I want to say it was my birthday which almost makes it better in that sense. Except for a few small miscues which i can see at the moment. I was very pleased with how the night went. This was my first time drawing a full figured model which was fun because it's to easy sometimes to get caught up in the simple line work when life has some many curves and bends. The model was fantastic and full of energy.

I'm not a painter. I do paint but i will never make a living as one because it take way to much energy to do. So i draw and sketch instead. This is my 1st attempt to paint in cheap acrylic during our trust sketch session's painting night. Honestly i attended for it to match the colors of the couches in the living room but it doesn't at the moment. Which means i will have to finish it.

It's good to draw someone that makes you feel fat. In all seriousness the model did a pretty good job for his first time modeling for our group. I attempted to rekindle my love of working in markers but soon found that due to time restraints i should go back to what always seems to keep my as close to having a finished sketch which just so happens to be color pencils. I guess color papers and sketch drawings go hand and hand with me. I would saw a pretty alright night to draw.

Ayesha Sketch

It's funny how you run across picture of the past and you wonder why you've become the person you have. This is a sketch of Ayesha and a few people know the story of who exactly she is and what influence she had on my life. I may never have the opportunity to tell her this face to face but I'm glad what occurred between us did. I'm a better person for that ordeal and I've grown leaps and bounds (so i tell myself). It's always hard to look back on things in life and say well in the end everything will be in the right place because mentally most people are blocked from seeing life in that light. I'm watching this cheesy Kung Fu cinema pack that i picked up from Best Buy (endorsement plug) and the shaolin monks no matter what happens always seem to have a positive spin on life. It's extremely hard to do that I'm attempting to do that as well.

"Wake Up!"

rings in my head at the moment. Once you don't have cable or are unable to watch regular TV you teach yourself to trust your DVD collection to the fullest. I made myself a must watch listen as i attempted to piece together my apartment. Vanilla Sky. The Darjeeling Limited, The Life Aquatic, The Bourne Identity, Slackers, Brotherhood of the Wolf are all movies that i rotated in and out of my DVD player Was i searching for something outside of the directions to putting together Ikea furniture? Of course i was. Well i make sense for me to tell you exactly what it was maybe not. One thing is clear though this apartment is now my home. With sliding doors longer than my arm length you can hear ever single car that passes by in both my living room and bedroom. Plus with paper then walls you possibly could hear the neighbors upstairs running on their exercise equipment or possibly the neighbor next door having sex. Hey maybe i should start a comic book/ journal about what happens in my apartment.

this pic are simply phase one and my apartment is 85% to where it need to be.