Her Janet Pose

" Tabetha : the Reader" (pic & sketch)

great minds think alike

Monday, September 28, 2009

It slowly kills me.
I'm not in the mood of doing anything, really. It aches, it gets me tired, it just gets me feeling blue - and I want it to go away! Now, please! If I could I would cut it all off. It's just plain boring to have this feeling. I'm not in the mood - just because it kills me slowly - it drains everything out of me.
See you later!/Anna
Posted by Anna kl. 11:28

Rachel & Katsuni (terracotta study)

I'm the Clint Eastwood type

Yesterday at work i bumped into a mutual friend that i know from other store. She pulled me aside to tell me that my friend was hurt that because i've been a little distant. Perhaps i have but as i tried to explain i need my space to grow. I sleep very few hours at a time, my mind races often, and i enjoy the solitude. Last night i left work at 11pm which is common factor that i can't stand while closing on the weekend. I was went to Walmart and stumbled upon the martial arts film Blood and Bones. I Finally finished it in the early hours of the morning i realized one thing: I like being the dark mysterious type of person. The guy who walks into town and no on really knows why but has a single purpose to accomplish. Which i guess would explain why i like western movies as quote often the main character doesn't have a name just a purpose. Once his job is done he rides out the same way he rode in town. I remember a quote that sums up this theory of being unable to be tamed:
'I'm as playful as the wind"
In an attempt to improve myself i have deactivate my Facebook account and now i see Myspace will be the next to follow. Honestly this is yet another tool that consumes my daily activities that i don't need. My basic understanding of these networking mediums is that they take more than they give. Also i take a look back on my past blogs and i realize that my thoughts flood the entrees more than my artwork. I didn't create this blog to vent my frustrations (that's what journals are for) therefor i'm eliminating the words portion. I'm not sure if it will be permanent or now but artwork only for the time being. I have some books to read and movies to watch so filling my spare time will not be hard.

Norfolk Drawing Group #56

i've skipped almost a months worth of drawing groups due to work. Someone it just seemed like i was the chosen one that had to close on Tues nights, gee thanks! I missed out so much that I seriously thought about skipping this night as well. I once heard that once you get out of the habit of doing things it only becomes easier to come up with every imaginable excuse to prevent yourself from continuing. This Tues night wasn't a bad night nor a good night just a night away from work. That single idea made it better than normal.

There are some of my random thoughts:

I want to save everyone from hurting the way i have, but i can't save myself

movie trailers lie: cut the trailer the way the movie is not what you want the movie to be

i'm tired of waiting on people to do things, it just works out for the best if i do the solo.

i try to draw everyday but still i'm scared to exhibit the mounds of work i've collected

i pay to much money in rent

i need a haircut

i'm trying to figure out if i like my job or do i just tolerate it

i can rational everything out expect my own emotions and responses

i slept to much on my days off and i know the reason why

i hate hearing updates from people that do more harm than help : "hey you remember her, well she has a new boyfriend now and they're in love ." thanks for ruining my day !!

Same-Age Couples

Michael & Michael Have Issues
Same-Age Couples
http://www.comedycentral.com/
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i was having a bad day today but this sketch makes me laugh...

Sam & Sam

This is a quick incomplete sketch of Sam in Dahlia Purple. I don't know why exactly i chose this shade of purple maybe because it's one of her favorite colors. Of all of the many pictures that i have of Sam i like this one the best because it shows how vulnerable she is. Without giving to much away of her personal life, she has been through alot and continues to go through alot as well. Still in her darkest moments she laughs, jokes and plays. Incredible?

This yet another Sam. I know to many of them. I rarely use graphite and for looking at this sketch i can see how unpolished i am at using it. I consider Sam fascinating because she actually is one of the few associates that i work with that has an art background. Even though photography seems to be her calling, in our brief exchanges we can talk art related topics not folding denim. I wish her well on her journey as an artist.

madlib (pics & sketches)

It goes without saying that i listen to alot of music. Most of the music that i listen to is instrumental drive because it allows me to think freely and draw. I can always focus on certain words or actions and feel better about myself or what's going on around me. I discovered the artist Madlib on a whim of sorts and over the years i've been collecting more and more of his music. I feel that his beat driven music allows me to tap into the side that sees the world differently. My gift as an artist allows me to view the world in a light that only a few get a chance to give a glimpse to. I believe that we all have this driving force within us that grows hungrier each and every day. But if it's isn't ignored it grows dim. So i guess mine is to draw and his would be to create music.

I challenge everyone to do something creative today if not just to free your mind.


honor and respect
tommy

Vampires don't wear glitter (pic & sketches)

Before i get started i do want to say i didn't not read Twilight the book but i did watch the movie. I blogged about it previous about being curious about the plot and a large popular of girls being attracted to this movie. I didn't get it but curiosity forced me to watch the movie. I wasn't blown away to the point that i thought i should keep it another night after 1 Redbox rental. I did see what most females loved or liked about the movie. I'm not a complete movie snob to point that out, however i did see something horribly wrong with the movie. I know i'm spoiling it but these vampires in this movie did not burn in the sunlight. They shined and shimmered like disco balls in 1970s and that was beyond humorous. To the point that this art piece created itself. I struggled with the image beyond belief. I spend a little more than 2 months trying to crave out Edward's main features. I wanted to give up and i did plenty of other sketches in the mean time but i felt this one needed closure. So as i plastered glitter onto his face yesterday i knew i was done. I've thought i've seen a lot of macho things in vampire movies but glitter is not one of them. Remember that?!

Star Gazing (pic & sketch)

I rarely myself look people into there eyes but i find it interesting when you stare into someone's else. It tell you more than you can imagine about someone. As i drew this sketch of Dianna, i saw things in this picture that i only shared with her. The more intense the stare the more you see about a person. I mentioned before i work retail and i study people body moments and behaves to a point where i can almost without a shadow of a doubt pick out someone who isn't be honest, truthful, and friendly. However their eyes tell more story than i can imagine.


I challenge you to look into my eyes and tell me what you see??

Almost 30 and how does it feel?

My birthday is 15 days away and i don't really feel anything. I will have been on this Earth 30 years and if you asked me that almost 15 years ago were i would be i had told you i'm not sure how this story would've played out. I'm still here though asking myself the question : how does it feel? I've gotten my schedule already for the rest of the month and i know that i'm working on my birthday, so i'm not excited that evening. I won't party it up or do something fantastic with that day or evening it will just be another day. My friends hate to hear me say that but it's just how i feel. I have my personal reasons both romantic and family related why i feel that way. So i don't expect anyone else to understand them. When all is said and done I'll no longer be 20, Yeah for me!! *with zero excitement*

So i know i can live without it...

A couple of weeks ago i made the decision to disable my facebook account. There are numerous reason which i won't get into at the moment but it was something that just felt right. I truly don't miss it at all. Of course, most of my friends are up there but it felt like it was more trouble than it was worth. One simple post could have 20 other comments on just about any and everything that you wrote. Blogger doesn't make the situation any better because anyone can read what i write but facebook is something that i can live without. i hate to say it but it just felt stupid at times. What other place could you become a fan of anything and let your friends know about it. Hey i like cheese, I love sex in the morning, and i scream like a girl during scary movies, if you can name it then there's probably had a fan club. I know it was suppose to be a networking site but it didn't feel like that at all it felt more something else to do. I doubt anyone who reads me blog that knows how i felt but i just wanted to disconnect for a while.
The term disconnect sounds odd and cruel at the same time but this is how i feel quite often. i work retail and i'm rubbed, pushed, forced to gel with the human interaction so much i don't want to do it any more. I know that may not make sense to most but when you deal with the public everyday, do you really want to do that on your days off? Most of my friends think i'm ditching them to do other things or that i being flaky. In reality this is my chance to do things on my own terms. So if i want to hang out then i'll hang out but if i don't then take it for what it's worth. A small flash back to what i'm referring to is when i was a a teenager i was still forced to go on family vacations for the sake of family bonding. My favorite example being let's go to the parade and none of my friends were going just me with my family. I was the oldest and my sisters are 5 and 9 years apart but emotionally we weren't on the same level. I do love my sisters to this day but space is something that i didn't get much then and now that i have it why should i give it up just to be social.

Tales of the human spirit

I'm proud to have friends in my life like Dianna. She may never read this blog nor may others but there's something about the human spirit that i envy. Regardless of what happens in our lives we still continue to strive and fight. Not to give to much about her own story because it is her story. But she's currently raising 3 kids on her own and still remains upbeat. I never hear her complaining about things don't going her way . She just manages and deals with the situation.

Dianna (pic & sketch)

I had neglected to the last pic of Dianna (one of my former co-workers from my Janaf days at Old Navy) i drew because it was that bad. She reminded me that i didn't have any drawings of her on one of my sketch albums. Originally I was going to make this sketch a complete drawing but i didn't to ruin it. Believe it or not there is such a thing as adding to much color to the point where i kill the drawing. It's not a sketch any more it's flat as the paper i drew it on therefor i stopped.
Honestly, i'm glad that Dianna got back in touch with me. In a distant sort of way sometimes i've thought about what's she's up to and what's she doing. I have an ongoing track record of having boyfriends and husbands wanting me to leave their better halves alone. Welcome to being Tommy!!

Michael & Michael have issues...

this seems to make me smile and this is a bright spot in my day.

"Love never means having to say you're sorry"

that is an interesting phrase that picked up from the movie Love Story. Never watched it nor have i heard of it but thanks to a good friend of mine i got it in the mail. As most little kids do i when they get something new i tore it open and watched it that same even. It was early in the morning and i had off the next day so why not. From a guy's point of view i actually got the movie just like i did the notebook. I saw the same thing that others saw, rich or poor love is worth it. It also made me think about my past love with certain names i dare not mention. Back then i thought it was worth going through hell and high water for and even now i still think it's worth it. I still see the main theory now as i'm sitting in front of my computer on a Saturday evening possibly getting ready to do something artistic like draw but certainly not going out.

Jay-z still finds a way to be creative and groundbreaking

for some of you who are like me and enjoy interesting tv ads this is what i found in a friend's post

Misa Campo (pic & sketch)

So i finished this drawing in a couple of hours but looking at it now i need to tweak it a little bit. This drawing traveled from Panera to Barnes & Nobles all last Sat before and during my break at work. When i'm in public drawing, i'm not drawing it for the "oo's" and ahh's" i'm doing it because i don't want to be trapped inside my apartment sketching and doodling. I'm not a glory hound and i've never will be. One of my main philosophy in life is that your work should speak for itself. you should never have to boast and brag about what you do. The sad thing is that i work with those type of people everyday.

Norfolk Drawing Group 55

After taking a look at some of these drawing only 1 sticks out as being a good one. I tried to brush up on my charcoal technique which i hadn't used in some time due to pure laziness. By the end of the session i noticed my best one was my final reclining drawing. It's something about the human figure at peace that i like. In theory maybe it's because i hardly find peace myself.