"I'm Going Down" (pic & sketch) and "This is What Depression Feels Like"

this is an drawing i did abut 2 years ago

The picture from "I'm Going Down" is actually of Maria. She is an interesting poet that i had the pleasure of having lunch with this week. Maria is also a talented artist. I have nothing but respect and admiration for the why in which she writes her poetry. It takes a lot for anyone to put their ideas and thoughts on display for the world to see. I felt the picture she took had plenty of personality. It shows the vulnerability that most people feel in life. Everything can't always be all sunshine and rainbows.

This weeks has been an interesting one to say the least. This seemed to be a large week with plenty crammed into a small space of time. Thurs night after a long day of work i went to go see comedian Steve Byrne at the Va Beach Funny Bone. It's been a couple of years since I've been there but it was all well worth it. Not only was he funny but his opening act was as well. The main reason I'm blogging this is because my friend Mike and I were pulled on stage to be part of the performance. If you can imagine 1 million and 1 ideas run through your mind when you're on stage. None of them as good as the one generally run through your head after everything has happened. For the record i was on stage with Steve Byrne (even though i wasn't that funny).

the man & the mask (pic,sketch,drawing)

I sometimes i get the question of why exactly I'm wearing a mask. The mask have various meaning behind it. The title of the piece actually comes from a song by Dangerdoom "The Man & the Mask;" which makes refer to the fact that just because a person wears a mask doesn't mean they're criminals. People wear mask everyday to prevent and protect themselves for being hurt or showing their true emotions. The mask i wear is my artwork. I hide behind it and hopes that by doing it that other will know only what i want them to know. If i don't write the meaning of the art work in the title then it's probably not meant to be known without having a deep conversation with me. Another representation of "the mask" is shining a little light on my wrestling heritage because i am (and have been) a wrestling fan for some time. Mask are so cold and hard that it leave others to guess what's really going on in the mind of those that wear them. This one of the pieces that i hoped to enter into the American Artist self portrait competitions.

Norfolk Sketch Session VIII

Last nights sketch session was interesting. Not for anything in general just because the model's personality actually came out in our session. So often during thus drawing session i attempt to connect with the model. I know to the average reader it might sound like i was hitting on her or trying to make eye contact but I'm not. I'm simply trying to get a feel for her style her aura in hopes of making a better drawing. I know it a connection because I'm focusing strictly on her. Therefor i wear headphones often during these sessions trying to put myself in a state of Nirvana. That is the artist guru side of talking. Some of my sketches are extremely rough so hopefully one day I'll get around to finishing them.
On a smaller note this past weekend i had the pleasure of working a cultural art festival at Western Branch Primary where my mom teaches. Honestly i thought there could be nothing more rewarding than going out to the drawing sessions until that day. It's amazing to see how the children look at quilt makers, origami artist, Japanese oil painters, and others with such amazement. For the first time since I've been there they actually had a steel drum band perform live with brought a little bit of the islands to us. I was proud to say i love to do draw and you can have this also if you practice. The event that summed up the entire day was my very last group and I'm not sure how it happened but i picked on student to be our model. I always allow her classmate to draw her first than i follow. The way her face lit up when i had finished drawing her was priceless. That made the whole experience well worth it.

"Insomnia"

I remember one time when i use to write poems what seem to be everyday. I'm not sure if i was just passionate about it all or if i was actually in love. This is the 1st poem that i've wrote in some time. I want to say it's been since the summer time. For the record this poem is not about a single person but more about an idea women i have yet to encounter.

Insomnia

Awoke early in the A.M
Unable to sleep due to thoughts of you
So the chances of me falling back were slim
Turned on bright lights that break away from the darkness of the dim
Grabbed a pen and composed this hymn
As if I could be the man in your dreams
As your dream I told tales of the man you want as if I could be him
Plucked mental rose petals all the way down to the stem
Until the words constructed your image
Possibly went out on a limb or a ledge
As my confessions in ink flooded the page
Words are what my tongue becomes wrapped around
The TV maybe in the background making sound
But I’m more focused on making this yours as I’m bound
To this page
Allow my words to take center stage
I don’t need to have curtain call bows or roses thrown
Reviews would say they’re elementary and these things you’ve outgrown
Like to different fabric a greater force has sown
Us together
Because together there are no heartache and moans
Without you I will always be unsatisfied that why some say for you I’ve given a rib bone
I can build skyscrapers that pierce the sky off of these words I use as a corner stone
But in reality at this hour I’m still alone
Thought I was getting to old for sipping on warm milk
Think back to idea times where candles light room red with a bed dressed in silk
I finally drop this pen as the darkness fades while the sun begins to melt
I still be thinking of you

Norfolk Sketch Group Session 7

Art is liberating. Yes i half-heartedly complained about working 8 days straight and closing closing 3 of those nights. Work is draining or should i say OLD NAVY is draining. No matter how much i attempted to sleep i couldn't find a peaceful moment until last night. I don't know if it was the atmosphere that i was in or my inner craving to draw but i was freed. For 2 hours i drew until i felt complete. Lats night went quite well for me.

On a side note work is funny because we were scheduled to get a visit from our regional managers. It use to kill me because at all the stores within the company that i worked at most of the managers would get dressed or dolled up for a visit. Almost to the point it would appear they were going on a first date. I've always been a firm believer that your work should shine through when it applies to a job. One of the managers i work with actually brought a complete change of clothes (loafers and all). Why?! So this is part of the reason why I've been stressed because those around me have been stressing.

Hiding in Plain Sight (pic & sketch)

A couple of months ago i brought some kung fu movies on sale at this store next to my job. I love watching old kung fu movies not because the acting is back and the plots are unbelievable but because it reminds me when i was younger. Saturday afternoon sometimes TV would show their kung fu features with horrible English dubs. Plus only paying a $1 for a movie isn't such a bad trade if i can find something interesting to draw from it.

"Sarah's Smile"

This is another one of the pictures i found when i was stumbling through my old photo box. I met Sarah P when i was working at TJ Maxx. She was one of the only friends i kept in contact with when i stopped working with the company. Sarah was the first girl that i met that allowed me to be myself. I didn't have to pretend to be anyone that i wasn't around her. My fonds memory was one of the first nights I've ever been to the club. We took her roommate along with us as we went to The Abyss in Va Beach (which no longer exists). The only thing i remember is that she loved to dance, they were playing Zombie Nation in the background and i was first introduced to Mike's Hard Lemonade (which now i know is a teaser drink). I took this picture while we were in my car and i do actually still miss her smile. Thanks for freeing me Sarah!

The Villain (pic, sketck,drawing)

I am a huge movie buff. I jokingly admit that i don't watch movie i consume or eat them because in any given time i walk numerous movies throughout a week. Not only is it a way to escape from reality but it's always a good way to learn little lessons about life. It serves a purpose in the greater scheme of life. No Country for Old Men is one of the movies that i watched recently that i truly enjoyed watching. Yes, it started off very slow and ended even slower but for the simply fact that like a roller coaster it continue to rise and build with each scene that only made it a good movie to watch. The cold heart of the main villain his character one that will rival anything in comparison that I've seen i a while. This is my tribute to this movie.

The Gorilla

It's funny of things coming all into focus all at the right times. Tues night while at the drawing group one of the guys there was handing out posters. I took it not only to be nice but somehow i knew that i would end up using it artistically in the future. The very next evening i brought a book of ways to improve my drawing abilities. I am somewhat of an art book junkie trying to gain some extra knowledge i might have been lacking before. One lesson that i saw for the 2nd time in one of the books i brought was to make clean, confident and distinctive lines that didn't appear to be sketchy lines. More of the time when i draw or sketch my lines are all over the place. This time i wanted them to be both bold, soft, and controlled. I'm not sure why i had an old newspaper laying on the floor in my room but i did. I found a picture of the gorilla that stood out as a good subject to attempt to apply this technique. This is the magic that came forth.

Norfolk Sketch Group VI

It rained all day Tues. and to be honest going to this sketch group was the best part of my day. Yeah it was my first day back from having 3 days off (that went by to fast) but somehow that day i didn't really feel the way i did drawing. As time normally goes on during the sessions my sketches get better and better. I simply hope that what i've done lives up to the expectations of my own artwork.

The Bride II (sketch and drawing)

my sketch book sketch
after drawing a pencil version i painted the dark areas in black acrylic
One of the movies i enjoy watching constantly is Kill Bill. Plots for revenge excite something within me. Everyone comes across someone who has done them wrong. Whether it's cutting them off in traffic or people giving them grief for their own bad days these things happen. There are expectations to this rule because sometimes people hurt you so badly you can't help but to dedicate all your energy to righting the wrong. My artwork is driven by such anger and rage. I'm won't pretend that it's healthy because it isn't but it does work. The only true question i ask myself is once i reached the point where my revenge is achieved then what? The only answer i can come up with is that i will put down my art supplies never to do them again.

Nickie (pic & sketch)

I know i mentioned in an earlier blog that i am very fond of pictures. I also thought i owed to ti Nickie to post a better picture than i did last time with her painting. i;'m a solid painter not an amazing painter. So when i found this picture i just knew i had to draw it. It was interesting because of the way her head is tilted. i hate to say it but I'm a sucker for a woman with long hair. Thanks again Nickie

Sarah II (pic & sketch)

I have to openly admit i know way to many Sarahs. Maybe it's something about the name or just the situations in which i come in ontact with them but this is one of the good Sarahs. She is my coffee chat buddy with whom i can talk about life and relationships with. I guess you can call it free consulting.
It goes without saying I'm a photo nut. If i see or find a photo that i like it's a pretty good chance that I'll draw or paint it. This is one she posted recently and i liked it for the simply fact that she isn't staring directly at the camera and there isn't a "I'm always happy" smile plastered on her face. The odd thing that i found myself doing now is using scrapbook paper to draw on. If you look closely enough you can see small hearts in the background. Trust me readers don't look to deeply into things. We're just friends!!

Norfolk Sketch Group V

Right now i should be in bed. I'm a little tired but it's a good thing i took some caffeine pills to help me stay away. Yesterday was brutal to say the least. I worked 9am to noon went to the drawing group at 8 then worked 10:30pm to 7am. Enough about me complaining about actually getting paid for working. At the drawing group it was suppose to be painting night and i had my idea of what surface i was going to use to paint on. Somehow, i don't know how it happened but i showed up an hour late. That isn't like me at all and the only think i could manage was a watercolor, color pencil and pen sketch. It's not fantastic by any stretch of the imagination. The only part of it that I'm actually happy with is the upper torso and the rest i would rather simply forget about. I have the urge to cute one long rectangular strip out of this drawing and write something interesting around it.