Struggling to finish yet another piece

I know i often talk about pieces that i've put off, put off some more than finally put off even more. Well this is no different. My goal is to be completely done by the end of March. Let's keep our figures crossed.

this is a short version of a timeline.

Remember the old Warehouse days of the Norfolk Drawing Group

I didn't make it out to drawing last week and i feel a little bad about that. The lack of funds prevented me from enjoying the evening in the manner that i would've loved to. Still somehow i managed to ways to amuse myself. I actually had this picture for sometimes and a long time ago i wanted to draw a caricature of my friend Noah. The only bad part is that side profile doesn't always make the best subject manner so i tucked it away. Just recently almost 2 years later this photo popped up in my folder of uncreated works. I was seeking for a way to get better control of my color pencil work therefor this seemed like a suitable study.

from left to right, Renee, Mike and Noah

inside the mind of Todd

Sometimes you meet certain artist and you're amazed by the amount and level of work that they've done. Their collective works or body seem to case a huge shadow. Todd is actually a boyfriend of one of my co-workers and he has done more than i could ever dream of. He creates music and his band has played in almost all 50 states, he's a nationally published comic artist, and has online comic blog with a following. I wouldn't say i'm jealous but i feel like i have to head back to the lab to do more work .

I wanted to do something different that shows more of his character as well as his thoughts as he bounced from between part-time jobs. If you look closely you can see both of his jobs, his girlfriend, a recent book that he illustrated, a this toddbot blog. Of course this is my attempt extremely loosely in just allowing the work to happen. It's hard sometimes when you always draw from pictures or references to use your imagination.

he needs me?!

musical breaks are good from time to time. For some reason this song comes to mind and i guess it's good to feel wanted and needed. Mixed in somewhere among the action, horror, comedies and a couple of romantic movies is my only musical. Popeye is a musical to say the least but with Robin Williams and Shelley Duvall this is one of my classic favorites from when i was growing up. I'll probably always be a fan of Popeye too.

Norfolk Drawing Group # 84

I'm not sure why but i didn't bring my paints this past Tues night. I was in such a hurry to get out the door on the way to work that it was one of those things i forgot about. So slightly jealous of my artist who were drawing with their charcoals, pencils, and pens that i brought my own.
Regardless of how low my funds were running i truly needed to go out to draw that evening. My job has been beating down upon me and sucking the spiritual happiness out of me to the point that i truly didn't want to do anything fun or positive. But there i was among friends and creative minds feeling at home again. I noticed that i've drawn the model before in one of these session but i'm not sure which one. So throughout the night allowed the stress to melt away and i feel my drawings got better and better. There were others' works that shined brighter than my own and that's the continuous progress i strive for.

True words spoken in an interlude

this is one of my favorite quotes for an album that i have. It shows that the drive and determination that most creative people. i won't limit it just to artist and musicians because it's greater than that.

Norfolk Drawing Group #83

My fellow artist/painters have been challenging me for some time to paint. "Tommy bring your oils or acrylics and just paint!" Bernard told me eagerly on more than one occassion. I actually planned on doing so until a last minute schedule change at work prevented me from doing so. On a positive note i switched shifts with another co-workers so i could come out this past Tues night to paint. I didn't bring canvases like my fellow artist i simply had a large pad of canvas paper that was almost empty. Most artist will tell you that canvas paper is pretty much good for nothing at all. Yes it's easy to store but no real masterpieces are done on canvas paper. Just in case you didn't believe that the canvas paper was bad enough, i also brought off-brand acrylic paint. For those of you know don't know any acrylic paint that comes in small tubes and have a greater water to acrylic paint ratio isn't good for anything except washes.

So there i was with my paints, drawing easel and ready to work. Honestly i'm not completely devastated by what i created. Yes it's extremely loose something i can't get with my pencil work but it's expressive. Perhaps the amount of layers of paint will show the dissatisfaction i felt throughout that day. The last drawing i did because my fellow artists' pencil and marker works made me a little homesick. Maybe i should've stuck with the paints?!

Red Dawn ( pic & sketch)

It's not great surprise to anyone that i frequent Panera more than i should. Almost to the point where the management team asks me what am i drawing today as well as the cashiers knows what i'm there to do. It's my calm peaceful lake that i can sit beside and simply relax. I'm not at home falling into the couch of doom and finding everything except what i need to be doing at that moment. So on a good week i'm there at least 2 times drawing, writing and reflecting. So eager to draw something more meaningful i took this picture with me and did my best attempt at making it look like something.

Inside the Cereal Box

This cool idea i got from one of those guy that paints at the drawing group i attend. One night he was just using his oil paints on cardboard. Just plain everyday shipping cardboard and to me at least that seemed cool. Other ideas of places that i've gone to and how artist have turned their cardboard boxes into artwork. The best example would be California Pizza Kitchen. The way the boxes are mounted and displayed it doesn't seem like kids scribbling any more. It's legit artwork! I had just finished a box of cereal and i thought what better time than now to paint on it. Worst case scenario if it was so God awful i could just say i was practicing but it actually almost turned out well. At the time i was finishing i wasn't sure if i was going to save it or use it for a Valentine's Day package. Just so happened that it all came together.

I really didn't get a chance to use oils on this one it was basically all acrylic and a little marker work.

'Bullsh** & Bracelets'

Valetine's Day has come and gone and i got a little chance to put my own little twist on some pieces to bring them to life just a little.

The title of this piece comes for an inside joke that i'll share with you. We all have people who push buttons in our lives. That one person that seems to know how to tease you in the same manner that kids tease each other. My friend Cara is in that similar situation. For a while now she has claimed that she wanted to be Wonderwoman because those magical bracelets could deflect bullets. Cara also told me that she could see through the drama and lies of her past. The most encouraging part was that even though you couldn't see her bracelets they were there. So after years of believing lies and listening to fabrications she had finally escaped.

When i saw this magnetic at a local comic book shop i knew it was for her. i also knew that i could put my own small twist on it all to conform to her. The tricky part because i'm always looking for some small degree of difficulty would be using 2 canvases. For shipping purposes mainly but also for storing purposes. A long oddly shaped canvas doesn't quite fit in with everything else when pulled off the wall. I did the initial sketch in pencil and acrylic then went over that with oil. I wish i would've gotten it mailed sooner but the dry time on oil isn't one of my favorite parts.

***This is my personal disclaimer. i'm not a painter nor have i ever claimed to be one. This is an attempt at painting something special. ****

Happy to be S.A.D (Single Awareness Day)

So today is Valentine's Day yet again and i'm confronted with my own feelings. Honestly i don't like this holiday and i haven't for a very long time. I dislike this holiday almost as much as i can't stand romantic movies. I don't hate romantic movies but it has become the poor man's version of HOPE. Everyone knows that hope is a danger thing!

Hey if stand outside her window and hold a radio over your head because eventually she's come. Or if you confuse your love for her because you've been friends forever, she'll see you've always been there. Sorry, life isn't like that at all. Maybe i should work thru those emotions in another piece of artwork.

Truly what i dislike the most is the romance and magic that use to be present all the time is gone. I'm not that guy any more that would buy just because gifts or write poetry at a drop of a hat. It hurt to think who i use to be a really creative romantic guy and know that i can't be that person once again. So i turned off the romantic switch because the energy that flows to it is broken. It almost as sad as the fact that i'm in a relationship. Trust me even though i'm in a relationship, it's a long distance one and doesn't have the same feeling as the typical ones.

Jen A.

It's hard to believe that i've known Jen A. for a little more than a year on a personal level. After hearing someons personal story i believe you gain a greater understanding for who they are. You also gain a deeper level of respect for what they've been thru. Even though for the most part i'm very tight lipped about my own life. I learned a great deal from Jen. Some was positive and negative but i listen to others trying to figure how if i was put in the same situations what i could do better. I pray and hope that Jen finds her way and the happiness she deserves.

Everyday Struggle

At work today, i bumped into a few artist that i went to school with. The last time i spoke with her, she was preparing to get ready for graduate program in fine arts. The same professors that allowed her to graduate with honors also told her she didn't have what it takes to be an artist. In not so many words they gave her the verbal conversation of having more qualified candidates than her. As she said it i felt the sting of truth that we all feel. It's hurts to hear you don't have what it takes. That would be a large part of the reason why i didn't enter shows/exhibitions or take my work gallery to gallery. It's painful to hear the words "no" over and over again and have the impression that you're going to try once again. So even on a Valentines Day Saturday night weekend and others are out having dinner with friends or loved ones, i'm be sketching, drawing, and painting to make myself better.

i don't want to....

sadly to say i'm not in the mood to write, draw or read a book. I just simply wish to be involved with myself for a while.

you can call me al

of all the old video i had to recall.. this one popped into my mind while watching a basketball game.

Mckinley (pic & sketch)

Along my many work related travels i've met plenty of interesting ladies. McKinley is one of those. Therefor i borrowed one of her self photos to create my own sketch.

Nudes at rest

i had the opportunity to while on vacation to look at some of the nude sketches that i had given Cara. They were hung up throughout her bedroom and bathroom. For once i actually thought that those sketches looked surprisingly good. Granted i sketch from time to time some weeks i draw more nudes than others. I never thought of i should get my act together and have a show full of nudes. That idea has been suggested i guess if i actually do some noteworthy sketches then i will give it more and more thought.

practice.

i actually hate this sketch, that's a large part of the reason why i posted it. i attempted to save it by going for a different shade and brand of color pencil. Yet that still wasn't good enough to bring this drawing around. :(

Norfolk Drawing Group # 82

This is yet another day that for some odd reason i couldn't tear myself away from work on time. Actually i know why i couldn't it's because we were suppose to get a district LP visit and my things needed to be in order. Still i managed to make it out there in time for 3 poses. Nothings to grand about any of them and the 1st sketch in oil pastels shows how rusty i am with that medium. If anything is a throw away drawing it's that one. I plan to go back and tweak it a little with spirit oil. After that the 1st one things seems to come a little easier and easier. Even the dreaded reclining pose that most people hate went without any true stumbling blocks. Just for good measure to show that i still can draw in color pencils i did a quick sketch.

Norfolk Drawing Group # 81

This night was a host to a male model. Generally the group as a whole doesn't like male models because they become to general. The basic male body type is the same as very boxy in comparison to females bodies. However this evening this model was a little better than the rest. i wish i could've came with enough time to create some more meaning sketches that i could be proud of. But maybe next time around.

What's new for me in '11

Everyone has something cool or interesting that they claim they'll do but don't. My New Year's Resolution is more catered to what i want to work on.

1. Dedicate/rededicate myself to being an artist. I play so much with the concept of "i'm an artist" This year i plan not only to have a show but to also draw for 1 hour everyday. That's very hard for me to do and attempt to believe that i can focus on that but that's my goal. if i don't take myself seriously as an artistic who else will.
2. Become more available for my friends. I'm a hermit individual by nature. i love being alone and i have no problems at all telling people: tonight doesn't work for me. By doing so i've pushed some of those who are closest to me away. There are sometimes people understand while other's people just think i'm being selfish. I never set out to hurt anyone on purpose. That isn't my goal, however my goal is to reset myself emotionally. Of all things this will probably being one of the most challenging.
3. stop being timid. I've spent most of my life being afraid of the what if scenario. I cower and panic when i should be running forward with confidence. So it stops here and now. i've told myself for so long that i have nothing else to loss because i loss everything, so why am i not living that way?

Happiness is Playing Outside (pic & sketch)

It's been a very broken record for me that December is not my favorite month. Everyone is either gathering gifts for Christmas, excited for Christmas or just counting down the day until this all is over. I was a little more of that latter. Work hasn't been the idea happy place it should be this time of the year. The company decided to add extra hours onto an even longer work day and push promotion after promotion to keep the store full of customers. I'm not questioning the marketing strategy just the idea that it burns people out. So even in reflection now i was burnt out even a week after Thanksgiving. As i took a 2ND look at this sketch i thought about the concept of all my friends and family that actually didn't have to work with John Q Public this holidays. The people that actually got a chance to enjoy their vacations/breaks from life. I'm very envious and hopefully soon i'll be able to join them.

The things i like about her, she doesn't (pic & sketch)

I was fiddling around on Facebook and i found a friends comment interesting. She said "she wished she could blink herself skinny." Normally that idea wouldn't bother me at all, because we all have flaws that only we see. Either our bodies are to hairy, calves are to skinny, hair to short/long, or other thoughts that are even worst. I wanted to make a comment that would shake or slap reality into her. She is a curvaceous women but i doubt she realizes that plenty of guys like her body just the way it is. Flaws in your body are only flaws if you allow them to be instead they should be your strengths.

Joeanna (pic & sketch)

I follow various art blogs for creative impersation and ideas. Joeanna is one of those blogs that i enjoy looking at because she's artistically free. When i say free i mean she has not just 1 style of drawing or creating but multiple ones. I find it amusing to read her blog, look at her photos and watch her videos. She helps remind me that i need to become more open as a artist.

so in my vow to draw/paint for 1 hour everyday this year i created this.

Norfolk Drawing Group # 80; Rebirth

it's a new year and i promised myself that i would focus more of being a serious artist this year. Being in a grumpy slump of a mood i've been avoid drawing with the group. Granted they could've brought me out of my funk but something always seemed to be going on. Either i had guest coming in town, i was closing that night or i was sick. Those thoughts compiled with the idea of work doesn't make the best formula for drawing.

With a little guidance and the harping echoes of friends telling me "i better go to drawing" i made my way out this past Tues. i actually had a fair amount of time to construct a drawing on painting night.

Norfolk drawing Group # 79

I've been lazy posting my drawing from the sketch group. However i liked the 1st sketch better than the 2nd one. Myave i should go back and tweak it a little

Kobe (pic, sketch and thoughts)

I try so hard to embody Kobe Bryant's mentality at work. In more so now that everything seems to be falling apart or going wrong around me. It's hard to keep a smile on my face when my name is uttered almost every 5 seconds. Maybe it's a sign of things to come, that perhaps i'm not made or cut out for retail?!

Anna Faris (pics & sketch)

So i kind of have a couple of comedic crushes. Anna Faris is one of those crushes since i saw her in Scary Movies a little over 10 years ago. In almost every movie i've seen her in she plays the clueless and mentally lost girl but being somehow i found that attractive.

Study of Jeff

Jeff is one of my most spiritual friends that i've met since working at Old Navy. he takes extremely good self photos so it was only naturally that i borrow one and practice with conte.