Rules of Attraction

One of my favorite channels to watch at this moment has been IFC or Encore. As numerous times as they show the same movie i continue to watch it. One of the movies that they showed tonight was "The Rules of Attraction." Quite often i hear people say it's to weird or out of the box to be good movie, still i like it never the less. I even went to as far as to read the book. It plays off how cruel perception can be in love and relationships. Your mind plays tricks on you sometimes that you can't believe. If you haven't seen it it's worth a browse.

I guess my main message since i don't have any artwork to post is about love (still N O camera). I want to write a love poem for someone but i'm unable to do so. Writers block is a horrible curse for someone who's creative, but that's what i'm struck with at the moment. I know what directions i want them to head in but i'm able to write. I watched "The Baxter" this past weekend. It was clearly a under the radar type of indie film but the message was in love sometimes people are "Baxters.' Baxter could be defined as a person in a relationship that is a safe choice for their lover but ultimately gets left for what could be deemed as true love. It's safe to say i've been a Baxter quite often, but it's okay if i don't play the game i can't get hurt.

This theory also ties into Kanye's newest album 808s and Heartbreaks, which it a strange but good fruit to eat. When it raining and i find myself listening to the rain drops as they fall doom and gloom sits in. That album was unsettling as going outside into the cold weather in the morning. I was forced to handle and deal with ideas that have been tossed around in my head for some time. I can't hide behind drawings, tv, sleep, or even movies and for that reason i like the album.

Bruises - Chairlift

This so happens to be my Thanksgiving Day blog. Which means that it officially starts the holiday season. I have become to desensitized by the holidays due to working retail. I remember Christmas use to be a happy occasion where it would be a huge celebration but it isn't what it was. Tomorrow most likely i'll head into work and get yelled at over things i have very little or no control over with the idea that people are angry because they are out shopping searching for deals. I can sense it already. After dealing with that all day, do i really want to go out shopping for the perfect gift for someone?

What i find interesting is to listen to people talk. If you ever want to know what's on someones mind or where there mental state is at simply by allowing them to talk. I listened to someone vent about there life and it became clear what their goals were and where their past history was as well. I gained all this knowledge just by listening. So many people wonder why i'm so quiet or why i don't say much most of the time. It's because i'm observing my surrounds and it shows me how deeply i'm able to engage people in conversation. So in a nutshell if you someone and you think this might be an interesting person to know, Chuck D put it best when it said "DOn't Believe the Hype!"

My failed attempt as lead me not to buy a camera just yet. I need one because i need to post so new work. The one above is from NDG and it was one of my lazier attempts at perfection.

"Everything is in it's right place" - Radiohead

I really like that song. I'm not sure why, but it's stuck in my head at the moment. Honestly i'm not even a Radiohead fan either. I hate when i wake up in the morning and realize that i don't have to get up early and i actually should be laying in the bed aways. I don't have to be to work until 9pm and still i'm up before 8am. Frustrating is the only word to come up how i feel.

I proud of myself because today i actually finished a drawing of my friend Brittney that i had started some time ago. With my work schedule being a little odd and other friendly get together that i've been involved with it's a little hard to find time to draw let alone create.

When i was looking for a cassette tape that i had i found a mix tape i created from a friend i use to know. The bad things being that i never gave it to her. A mix tape is one of the most emotional things that you can give to someone. It's like sharing a secret part of yourself with the statement that is the music that i like and i hope you like as well. More than anything else it's take time to create a such a tape or cd. Obviously, you can go blind and songs but then what's the fun in that?

I proud that i finally found time even if it was past 3am this past weekend to start writing poetry again. I started writing a week ago but i really haven't had a chance to finish anything. There's something very spiritual and emotional when you share your worlds and thoughts with everyone. One of my best fears not only as an artist but as a person would be that my voice won't be heard. That's why i haven't entered any shows in a while!

Don't Play With Me Cause You Play With Fire....

is one of my favorite songs at the moment. I know it's an oldie but it's The Rolling Stones. More importantly it's the true meaning of how i feel at the moment. I know i should be tired because i just drove to Richmond for my friend's Trey's b-day outing only to drive back the same night. Caffeine pills do wondering for the body in moments like this, especially when you know you have to be at work at less than 4 hours. I won't lie to you this blog is going to be all over the place but hopefully in the end as calmly as it started.

I lost my camera over a week ago so i won't be posting any of my sketches or drawing for some time. I'm a little unhappy about it but this is something that simply had to happen in my eyes, even thought at the moment i don't understand why.

I know to often i rant and rave about relationships and dating,but one of my favorite quotes from a song sums up everything: "Women will never be as important as music (art), and if she thinks she is. then she's only fooling herself" My true love will always be my artwork, and i am single because i'm a lazy dater and no one has yet to make me feel better than anything i have or will create. Until then that's the way i'll remain.

I heard from a friend from my past a little over to weeks ago. I think of her sometimes but the truth is thoughts are mere thoughts nothing more. I strongly leaning towards creating some paintings with her in mind. How positive will they be? I can't honestly say at the moment. I'm not even sure if it will be viewed or expressed as paying respect. Speaking of artwork, i had an idea for a show that i got from a friend. The idea is to build upon what my first show "Illusions of Love" was dealing with. Something a little more darker than i'm use to dealing with. I figure i have to fight through the darkness to get to the light.

I have yet to really talk with anyone in detail about my thoughts on this past election. Well i can say that i'm happy to see that America actually does want to see some change take place. Regardless of whom anyone voted for at least this time around everyone went to the polls and voted. This past election was larger than i can imagine at this moment. Honestly speaking of course i probably would've voted for McCain if he was able to separated himself from Bush's style of running the country, but he couldn't. Almost every interview or speech he have was sending mixed signals. What i am disgusted by is the fact is due to the level of people's stupidity. One thing that completely frustrates me to no end is talking or hearing someone close minded talk. I haven't a lot of comments even read some as well. Zombie like state of mind following what someone else said without the belief that you have a brain and can think for yourself people need to wake up. I read someone i knew post a message saying "Now America have a face to put on a food stamp (speaking of Obama)" while another former college football player stated "Let's call a hunting party and go to the White House!" Above all i'm disappointed because i know i work with and wait on customers would darker feelings on the election.

<my drawing but not my pic.. all credit to to Bernard from Norfolk Drawing Group>