mr grinch (the real reason why i hate christmas)

i know i haven't post anything art related in a while regardless if i draw almost everyday or not. However this post will be one of the honest post about my past and my feelings towards the holidays. It's no great mystery that i dislike and i even go as far as to mention that i hate the holidays. Each year it comes around and this wound that once was a scab picked at and opened again. An extremely large part of lack of joy has to do with a broken heart. A broken heart that almost a decade later still hasn't been able to be fixed.

I was dating a girl that some would say out of my league. Her parents and previous boyfriends had been able to shower her with gifts and affection. At the time i been working part-time at Old Navy a little over a year, i was also a full-time college student. Between driving from Portsmouth to Chesapeake to Norfolk in any given day or combination i was broke most of the time. The holidays came around and even with my lack of money i began to think of ways to make Christmas special for her. On her short wish-list she wanted the retro Gameboy Advance. Honestly i couldn't afford it even if i tried. Christmas time finally came and i got her gifts (multiple things) i can't even remember what they are now. At my parents house she presented me with a candle and Ikea couch pillow. I know holidays is all about the thought. The thought that someone took the time to think about you during the holidays. Her gifting idea seemed more like something you would give to someone who showed up at your house on Christmas un-expecting rather than someone you had been dating. So there i was sitting on my couch looking at a pillow and candle feeling less than what i feel any person in a romantic relationship should ever feel like.

The second story is the one i have a hard time forgetting. It might be true that romantic relationships can be one sided sometime but no one ever hurts you the way the ones closest to you can. My relationship with this girl had been one of the longest ones at the time. We once tried the long distance dating even thought she living in Europe. At the moment i mentioned above we were just friends who kept in close contact. In September i finally got my tax refund money and roughly around that time we discussed that i would come see her again over the Christmas break. This time with the hopes of working things out. We still spoke regularly over the next couple of months but  in November and she informs me that she had a new boyfriend. She dismissed the whole concept of me coming to see her altogether because she loved this guy and wanted to give it a fully focused attempt. When these words poured out  i wasn't even upset about the non-refundable tickets. I was more upset with the fact that everything i had emotionally invested in was being torn down and broken right in front of me. It was one of the few times in my life that i begged for understanding and clarity. I couldn't understand why she would do this to me especially at what i thought was my lowest moments. I didn't go to see her but instead barricaded myself in my room and slept those would be trip away.

Honestly i have forgiven both women in these situations. I don't hold any ill will to anyone of them but i haven't forgotten yet. These stories are deeply rooted in my feelings towards Christmas. Each time of the year i get a little sadder than normal makes things extremely difficult this time of year. It seems that almost ever shift so far this year i've had someone yelling at my about things i didn't do, or complaining about their shift/schedule. For me at least this isn't the holidays nor is it my definition of happiest time of the year.

Sketch Challenge 4 : Part III

 

sketch challenge 4; Part II

Sketch Challenge 4: part I

 This challenge is important to me. This challenge marks the countdown to my birthday. i set out to draw 30 African American females in 30 days. I take drawing very serious and at times i had to slow myself down not to rush through this challenge.  I  chose the topic of African American females as part of an empowerment piece. I draw females regardless of race or color but rarely have i explored the women with natural hair. It's not secret that i love women with natural hair. I think it's something about the curl and texture of it.

missing figure study sketches from October 2013

Somewhere along the way i forgot to post some of my figure studies from the Norfolk Drawing Group from last month. I can't believe we actually had back to back male models that never happens but hey i draw whoever comes out whether it's male or female.

Caroline Bittencourt: VA is for Lovers (pic & sketch)

This is a photo of Caroline Bittencourt. I wanted to put my own twist on this photo and reference something i've seen other times in tshirt designs. The Mickey Mouse hands have been used in various ways to cover up or censor female body parts. Visually it's appealing to me to see people taking pop culture references and to make interesting designs. I was also staring at some postcards of Virginia beach on the floor and added sometime that reminds me of my state.

"Chump, Chump Chewy Chump" (pic & sketch)

This is one of the loose ends that i've tied up. I have had this unfinished drawing laying around for over 2 years. The photo came about when Cara's daughter Erica and i were playing around during a photo. Erica was attempting to bite my head and saying "shhh, it will only hurt for a moment." She was acting as if she was some type of zombie. I thought it would be a good picture to transform just into that. I like the clean lines of comics and how images actually jump off of the frames sometime. It was originally going to be a simple black and white drawing with various ranges of gray but it took on a life of it's own.

Laken

my girlfriend has been bugging me for some more artwork. Her new roommate didn't have a sign for her door. I'm not sure how i got sucked into this one but as a small favor to her i was asked to created something. Not knowing much bout Laken expect she loves the Lifetime channel, horror movies and eats meat only (no veggies) it was a slight challenge. I originally wanted to do something with Nightmare of Elm Street or something from the Saw series but that idea faded away. Finally i decided on Jason and the Friday the 13th series, i had been watching the remake and thought it was been pretty close to her name Laken and Camp Crystal Lake.

A-Rod's Practice Swing (pic & sketch)

I love pop art even thought i wouldn't classify my artwork as that. I would call it taking a comedic stance in hopes of getting people talking. Discussing what they are seeing and why their thoughts are on it. Alex Rodriguez is notable player for the New York Yankees. Recently he was named in PED (performance enhancing drugs) scandal in Major League Baseball. This isn't the first time he has used steroids to bust his stats and at the time in which i was creating this he was on the brink of having a season ending suspension. Ultimately he wasn't suspended and is playing now but i just wanted to shed a little light on PED are in sports.

"S isn't for Hope, It's for SVU" (pic & sketch)

You can thank my girlfriend, Cara for this one. When i was in Texas this past June, she wanted to go see Man of Steel in 3D. I am also a  fan of  TV show Law & Order Special Victims Unit. Christopher Meloni who played Elliot Stabler on show was in Man of Steel as a general. In the movie there's one scene when Superman heals Lois Lane after she gets wounded. I leaned over to her and made the gong for Law & Order.  As i was watching the movie i came up with this concept for this inside my head. I imagined Stabler being undercover trying to catch a sexual predator Clark Kent/ Kal-El/Superman. Further more he was in handcuffs so i thought about him in the station with Benson and Stabler questioning him. Them asking him what the "s" on his chest was for?
Overall i'm just okay with this piece. It isn't nearly what i wanted it to be and somewhere along the way i lost what envisioned.

"The Crime : Twerking "(pic & sketch)

 True Story: Not that i would lie about this at all but i just wanted to prove all this came about. It's so mystery to anyone i don't have cable. i haven't for over a year and honestly i don't miss it to much. I do have Netflix so the night of the MTV's VMA i was watching movies. I hate fake award shows like this because it becomes an over hyped exhibition that gives people an opportunity to gossip. Roughly around the same time the show was going on i was watching the movie Dredd. Judge Dredd is a no none sense cop in the future. Later on i found out that there was a public out cry about Miley Cyrus and her dancing. Now what i do have a problem with is twerking becoming a pop culture phenomenon. It's the latest dance craze which even has older news anchors attempting to do it. Dance is a form of expression and i understand that but some dances aren't for everyone. This dance originated from strip clubs and i highly doubt it was attended to be done at a kids choice award to set a Guinness book world record. That is my issue.
So how would Judge Dredd handle a situations like this, he would charge Miley with illegal twerking and sentence her to death....

Riley Cooper is Cooking with Paul ( Pic & Sketch)

After hearing about Riley Cooper being caught on video making a racial slur i had to make this one. He was drunk at a country concert and began making comment to a black security guard. Given this situation followed by Paula Dean's comments, it was easy,quick and simple to do. I think situations like this pose a good opportunity for people to talk openly about race. It is a problem i can say that.
I've witness it first hand, i've even seen it done to others. Just to share a small story, I was out at a wrestling event with my friend Shun who was of asian descent. Shun and myself were making our way from out seats to go to the concession stand. On the way we past by a larger guy and my friend said excuse me the guy who had a beer in his hand. The guy took it as an opportunity to make references to the (vietnam) war and call him a couple of things i won't repeat here. I followed behind my friend and the guy said nothing to me but i could tell it bothered Shun. As we were eating we talked briefly about what happened and i commended him for taking the high road. Yes the guy was drunk but starting a fight with a drunk person would prove what? Only that he stooped down to his level and allowed him to win the battle of idiots.
So racism is alive and it may not always be as public as what Riley said or what others have said but it's something that buried deep down inside some people. It also comes out as the time when you least aspect it too.

My P**** Taste like Pepsi (Lana Del Rey)

I have mixed feelings about Lana Del Rey. i love her music her voice is amazing. What changed my opinion a little of her was when i heard about her transformation that she underwent to become what we see. The before and after pictures were a little deflating for someone who seems to already be attractive.

I decided to take a pop art take on one of her lyrics that proclaimed her p**** tastes like Pepsi. I haven't done anything that actually pushed my creativity a little in a while. So i searched high and low for a pepsi bottle to mix a 3d object along with a portrait. I wanted the spilled pepsi from the bottle to create her image. Maybe in my next go round i'll push the envelope a little more.

Frank Ocean (pic & sketch)

Sadly enough someone people i struggle to draw. Frank Ocean is one of those people. my drawing of him have gotten better but it's been a process. This is one of my few micron drawings that i did outlined in orange highlighter.

sketch challenge 3: part II

The Funny thing about doing this sketch challenge is the responses that i've gotten. Some  people have been asking why am i constantly drawing male nudes? Am i questioning my own sexuality or getting turned on by drawing men? Or the most important what is this or whom is it for?

1. The truth of the manner is seeing a model nude isn't a turn over for me. Those who truly study the male or female form aren't aroused by simply seeing a nude person. I have a hard time even explaining to my mom why i go to a modeling session. She doesn't see the point of drawing someone nude. 
2. I drew nude males because i've drawn some many nude females i thought a change would be good. I thought it would be interesting to study the male muscular structure which is something i haven't done recently. 
3. most importantly this is something i'm doing for my girlfriend. She already had one sketchbook challenge and i dedicated this challenge to her as well. Granted i'll never look like anyone of this guys within the next few months 

One of the cool things that came from this challenge is that one of the models actually contacted me after seeing his sketch. I'm not sure how he found my drawing but i think it's interesting how people can search topics on instagram. Thanks to Frank Jones for being a muse.