Searching for a Zen moment

I've been beaten and overcome with the feeling of emptiness over the past couple of months. I know the stem of it all and it has to deal with work. The constant pushing and pulling has become to much for me to handle. This would explain why i struggled to attend this years Western Branch Cultural Art Festival. I was almost the 24 hr before i decided that i was going to commit to it. Even still i didn't know what i was going to do or show. Just weeks before that moment i had tossed all my old drawing and sketch references out. They were tattered and torn so no need no holding onto bad artwork. The day the festival before i sat in Panera and draw for hours. I ended up spending the better part of 6 hours attempting to get my artwork together. It wasn't that it all was so hard but more that i felt the freedom that i don't get on my 9 to 5 (which isn't a 9 to 5 at all more like a 9 to 9). I had been warned the week of the event that there was a committee of teachers that wanted some changes done this year. Changes to a system that i've spent more than a decade perfecting with my presentations. It went from choosing one student to getting them all correlate and taught to draw within in 15 mins. Now this is elementary school students that we are referring too.. I did what they wanted, was it my best "no". I also have reservations if i'll do it again that way. The point of the entry wasn't to talk about my trails and tribulations as art wanting to leave his 9 to 5 behind. It was to share an interesting conversation that i had with a fellow artist. Mr. Nicholas is a master Chinese brush painter. This year we both agreed that we were having problems getting ourselves up for this year's fair. He told me about an demonstration that he did for some culture students on the topic of Zen. The professor told the students that the brush painter should enter a state of nothingness in order to create a good piece. A state of nothingness? I had to agree with him there is a state but nothingness isn't it. It's a state of emotional connection for me. When i turn my music on and i force my mind, energy on being creative it just happens. Sometimes it turns out well other times simply horrible but it turns out. I'm not sure where the energy comes from but it's buried deep down inside of me. The angry, frustration, bitterness, happiness, and the content all spill out at some time or another while i'm drawing or painting. The only thing i can compare to a Zen moment is driving. When you take the same path for ages and ages your mind wanders while you're behind the wheel. Sadly to say i know my mind does and i don't even have to be texting or playing with my ipod for that to happen.