an Open Letter

The left is more cover art for a letter yet to be mailed.

It's Saturday and raining outside and i don't want to do or go anywhere at all. It's my 1st day off of back to back days. This week as been an interesting week of week. I would've thought that most of the people that i clock in and clock out with would understand that i'm very rarely a serious person. Of course when the time comes and when things are called for i put on my i'm in charge/listen to me/ i know what i'm talking about mask when i have to. I don't want to but then again it is my job and they are still paying me. Through conversations this week i've found out that my joking nature has offending some people, yet again. What really makes me uneasy is that fact that they know how i am. They know that i do joke and sometimes if heard in the wrong context could be seen as a put down put most of the time it isn't. Honestly what i wanted to say is : "all those million other times we joked around was ok but this time i said something and now you've decided you got your feelings hurt . Because i'm being cruel or mean, just get real", but i didn't. Instantly i have flash backs about 10 years ago when i was working at Tj Maxx and i had to tell one of the girls working that a manager wanted to see her in the office. i jokingly said "Nice, working with you!" and can you believe this grown women [yes she was older] didn't talk to me for 3 weeks unless it was work related. I remember her name like yesterday, Linda was the same grown women who i've joked with on numerous things previously got upset because i said that one joke. Of course, my manager called me in the office to let me know i hurt my co-workers feelings. Now we're full circle again and i'm still upset as i would've been 10 years ago.

My main theory is i enjoy keeping the mood light because we have so many other stressful things to worry about in life. Work should be a place you enjoy going to not a place you can't wait to leave.

I want to let you now that if i really wanted to hurt your feelings i would've. I'm not a malice person nor do i plan to ever be but now i'm not even sure if i should open my mouth to say hi.

However what i am doing is removing all those backhanded joking comments from work. I don't want to be in the office with Human Resources explaining why i told a co-worker to "get out of my face!" (which i do use as a joke).